A complication which needs to be resolved.

[Woolygimp]

This happens to have happened last month, but it's been an ongoing issue that needs to be imparted with OOT's special attention.

Besides everyone else is telling stupid stories, It's my turn to tell one too...

As for this needing to be resolved, I really don't give a [censored] I think it's kind of hilarious actually. I just wanted to put up a catchy title.

First off a little background about myself. I'm a cool dude. Now let's move on to the more important [censored].

Last month about a week before Christmas I receive a phone call frrom my parents who inform me they are leaving for Chicago to spend Christmas with my dying grandmother. They ask me to stop by the house at about 8 and open presents with the rest of the family, so i say i'll oblige.

That night I go to play poker at a local bar, which was also hosting a Christmas party. At about 3 in the morning I see an "aquaintance" [he hasn't been promoted to the rank of friend yet]. I ask him if he wants to go to my house in a couple hours and he says, "yeah."

So i play poker till about 6:30 am and then cash out. We get in the car and right next to the bar is the best donut place in the entire city. So i get 2 boxes of glazed donuts, and two boxes of chocolate. Then i start to noticee the "aquaintance" is a little drunk, but not overly so... so I don't pay much attention to it. He eats a few donuts and we set off towards my house.

We get there and everyone is still sleeping so I tell him to wait outside. I wake everybody up then go outside and tell him he can sleep on the floor of my room.

In the meantime everyone opens presents, they thank me for the donuts and it's your average happy Christmas morning [except a week before Christmas].

After all's said and done i'm a bit tired and since that dude is in my room I plop on the couch and doze off.

Half an hour later my dad wakes me up with a pretty angered look on his face, "Son why is there a [censored] [censored] in your bed, how could you bring someone like that to our house he's [censored] had sex with a man he's got cum all over his pants and face and he smells horrible."

I'm a little startled so i'm like what the hell...

My dad continues on saying that, "he's not staying in our house and he's bringing him home, and he makes sure to point out how angry he is..."

So I go back to sleep.

So when I finally wake up and i actually have enough energy to give a [censored] I put two plus two together and apparently:
The guy threw up on himself outside so that gave him an unbearable smell.
When he ate the glazed donuts he did so in a messy drunken manner and there was "glaze" all over his mouth/clothes. (what my dad thought was semen).
Not only that but he had a christmas hat on from the party the night before...

So I tell the guy the bad news, "Hey, umm my dad things your gay."
"Seriously? I was really drunk... tell him i'm not gay."
"He doesn't beleive me, you call him."
"Umm how about I write him a letter."
"A letter?"
"Yeah a letter!"
"Why don't you add some pink ribbons to it while your at it."


I finally convince him the letter will only solidify my fathers opinions of him. I don't even see why he cares.

Anyway theres a morale to this story. Don't bring drunk people to family events and if you do don't let them eat glazed donuts while wearing a santa hat.

[YourFoxyGrandma]

Your dad is insane.

EDIT: Funny story, though.

[ImsaKidd]

Oh. My. God.

Pure gold.

[lapoker17]

[ QUOTE ]
Half an hour later my dad wakes me up with a pretty angered look on his face, "Son why is there a [censored] [censored] in your bed, how could you bring someone like that to our house he's [censored] had sex with a man he's got cum all over his pants and face and he smells horrible."

[/ QUOTE ]

uh, your dad has serious issues.

[man]

[Woolygimp]

Yeah he's one of those military dads. I always grew up with stories like, "Civilian life is for [Censored], when someone pissed one of us off when we were in the military we'd take a socket wrench to their skull."

"Son your careless, but I love you. Careless people in the military always end up getting themselves and the other soldiers in their unit killed. I ran over a car full of careless people once with my tank in Germany because they weren't paying attention and got in front of us."

So i'm like cool dad.

[Woolygimp]

[ QUOTE ]


[/ QUOTE ]

I swear that's the same exact Plad shirt he use to wear...

[henrikrh]

Tell the truth man, OOT won't judge, there never were any donuts, were there?

[Case Closed]

Awesome story.

[guids]

haha..awesome. At least your dad didnt accuse you of having sex with the guy. Id hate to think what would have happened if you got jelly doughnuts.