Limerick Competition Finals

[diebitter]

Okay, cos this is blind, the names are removed. Here's the entries:

A.

Elephant(s)

This elephant tried to seduce me
I'm guessing to him I looked juicy
Because I was drunk
He whipped out his trunk
And started to sexually abuse me

Drinking

Well, how much I drank is irrelevant
And holding my liquor?...like hell I can't
Whenever I'm drinking
I know I'm not thinking
Remember the time with that ELEPHANT?

Safe Sex

I brought this chick home named Annette
Who's sick like a dog at the vet
I banged her carefree
And caught H-I-V
No condom's like Russian Roulette


B.

Elephants

Elephants are big and gray
When they run get out of their way
The eat the peanuts
Scotthoward's a putz
and he still is frickin gay

Drinking

one night i was drinkin a beer
when my pm flashed "you're the seer"
when i realized the joke
i almost did choke
drunk shorty made us all the horse's rear

Safe Sex

Scotthoward's mom's a sweetheart
but his dad isn't so smart
"Wear a rubber" she'd shout
He replied, "I'll pull out"
And Scotthoward was born, the retart


C.
There once was an elephant named Babar
Who got tipsy and drunk in a bar
He ignored every ho
Who wanted his dough
For not getting pozzed, he's a star!


D.

Safe Sex:

Third date and I'm wearing cologne.
But damn! I didn't even get blown!
So I called her a tease
With venereal disease,
And dialed 900-HOT-SEXX on the phone.

Drinking:

A headache like this is a crime.
Though last night I was feeling sublime,
Based on how I hurt now
I do solemnly vow
Never again! ('Til next time...)


E.

elephant(s)

Dumbo was a flying beast
Not the brightest, yet not the least
He flies around town
Being a clown
Eating him results in a feast

drinking

My Ode to the Three Wise Men
Whose greatness does not know when
Lord Jim, Mister Jack
and Johnny all attack
Making me vomit again and again



F.

Elephant(s)

When at the zoo one day
I saw an Elephant's rear display
'What's that dad,'
said my little lad,
'It looks a bit like AK'


drinking
I like to drink to excess,
But it lands me in a mess,
every night my c*ck's
stuck in a fox,
but wakes with a dog, I confess.


safe sex
Safe sex is something I see
is necessary to keep yourself free
from the trouble and pain
you get when you gain
the herp stuck on your peepee


G.
Elephant:

I was dating a woman named Evelyn
And to me, she was most benevolent
but she was ugly as [censored]
and missing a t*t
and her ass was the size of an elephant's

Drinking:

I thought that I'd be all the wiser
When I imbibed the last pint of Budweiser
A tall woman I tried
Before my eyes realized
That the doctor did not circumsize her.



You may choose up to 3 favourites. This poll closes in 24 hours.

[wdcbooks]

The first safe sex would have been much better if the word 'Pozzed' coculd have been worked in.

[His Boy Elroy]

A's elephant one and drinking one were very clever. F's drinking one was good as well.

[KUJustin]

This one was a blowout in my book (A).

D's poem about drinking was superb also.

[durron597]

I only voted A and D, couldn't find a 3rd I liked

[sighing]

People are really voting for limericks that aren't even close to the right meter?

[Thebram]

[ QUOTE ]
People are really voting for limericks that aren't even close to the right meter?

[/ QUOTE ]


I'm in america gotdamit

screw the meter!

[ESKiMO-SiCKNE5S]

A tried too hard.

Vote 1 B

[metsandfinsfan]

How many people are moving on to the next round?

[ScottHoward]

[ QUOTE ]
How many people are moving on to the next round?

[/ QUOTE ]
this is the final round?