Reverse Mad-Libs Game (sort of)

[Our House]

Inspired by a DB post in another thread, I'd like to try something.

This game is like mad-libs except for the fact that you don't fill in the blanks before hand or know what kind of words go there. The object is to take the half-written sentences provided and fill in all filtered words with regular, clean words in order to create the funniest possible paragraph. Please be sure to bold all replaced words when you do it.

Let's see what you can do. Here's the first one:

Every once in a while, [censored] comes here and [censored] [censored]. If we were able to [censored] some of his [censored], then it would be much [censored]. That is the only way [censored] would [censored] for a [censored].