need help, from fear of losing gains

[lemonPeel]

When i lose, i'm willing to lose it all. when i win, i make up every excuse to stop playing even if the table is great. i hate the feeling of losing back my wins and this is holding me back alot. how do some people distance themselves from this sort of thing?

[Bang584]

I was up $150 in a $50NL game earlier, but I didn't leave for about 30 more minutes because of my commitment to play time instead of results.

Give it a try. Next time when you sit down, commit to playing for a certain amount of time, and when that time runs up, quit. There's always tomorrow.

[Mr. Now]

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When i lose, i'm willing to lose it all. when i win, i make up every excuse to stop playing ... i hate the feeling of losing back my wins and this is holding me back alot.

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It appears you attach hope to losses, and fear to winnings-- the exact opposite of what actually works. This pattern is a recipe for consistent losing results and potentially huge losses.


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The toughest thing in the world is holding on to profits. You have to learn how to lose; it is more important than learning how to win. Limit losses quickly. Most traders hold on to their losses too long because they hope the loss will not get larger. They take profits too soon, because they fear the profit will diminish. Instead, traders should fear a larger loss and hope for a larger profit. -Mark Weinstein

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[Bazuul]

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It appears you attach hope to losses, and fear to winnings-- the exact opposite of what actually works. This pattern is a recipe for consistent losing results and potentially huge losses.


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I don't think you should have ANY emotions tied to winning/lossing sessions if you can help it. Focus on the decisions. If you make a bad call and suck out on the river, instead of being happy that you won the pot at long odds, you should be critical of yourself for having made the bad call. When you push over the top of a loose player with QQ and he turns over K8 and pairs his K, you should congratulate yourself for the good read.

You can lose any given session you play perfectly and win any given session you play poorly. Most hands you are only favored 60/40 to win, a few 75/25 and fewer still 85/15. You'll go nuts if you tie your emotional state to swings that you are mathematically certain will occur. Instead, focus on your game. If you keep making the right calls, profit is inevitable.

Mastering this counter-intuitive concept is the very basis of the discipline required to be a winning poker player.

[phydaux]

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The toughest thing in the world is holding on to profits. You have to learn how to lose; it is more important than learning how to win. Limit losses quickly. Most traders hold on to their losses too long because they hope the loss will not get larger. They take profits too soon, because they fear the profit will diminish. Instead, traders should fear a larger loss and hope for a larger profit. -Mark Weinstein

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That's a great quote, Dan. What's it from?

The only other thing I have like that is from Trading for a Living by Dr. Alexander elder. He spends half a chapter talking about how losing is an addiction, and how options and futures traders need to have "Loosers Anonymous."

He said that if traders, after a loosing day in the pits, had to go to a meeting, raise their hand, stand in front of a large crowd and say "Hi! My name is phydaux and I'm a looser..." then they would grow to hate loosing, and seek to find ways to avoid it.

BTW, do you find that material made to help traders on the stock market also helps poker players? Any reccomendations?

[Mr. Now]

You may Google the entire quote to find the web page where this quote appears. The page is interesting and has useful related content.

You may find the books of Mark Douglas very useful if you are interested in the psychology of winning multiplayer, zero-sum games that are scored in dollars.