WORST BEAT EVER

[SNO FLAKE]

OK so like i just dropped 9k at the casino and i need some loving. I get home at around 4am and start calling craigslist ho's. There is this one bitch that made like 12 listings with different pictures and different phone numbers but it is always her picking up. So i figure she is fat and not hot like the pictures. [censored] that.

I haven't done anything like this before so i don't quite know where to go with it. I say [censored] it yellowpages. I go to escort and call the number and a chick picks up. I tell her i want a young lady sent to my apartment. Emphasis young. She says ok 30 minutes... I wait an hour... nobody. I call her and she makes an excuse and says 10 minutes. 30 minutes later i call back... same [censored]. Finally i am about to say [censored] it i'm going to bed and the bitch calls me says she is outside and can't figure out the buzzer.

I go down to meet her and there are two chicks... One is kind of fat the other is a 6 at best but at least not a fatty. The fat one does all the talking says sorry i brought my friend hope thats alright.

I take them upstairs but seriously just want to cancel but i don't have the balls. They light up a ciggarette and talk about random [censored] and ask me if i have any booze or drugs... I don't drink and they were pissed when i said no. She asks for the money and says i have to tip and that my tip will effect services offered. I try to find out like what costs what but she won't say.. Im like ok heres 300 bucks (100 tip). I take my clothes off and all of a sudden they are pouring baby oil all over me. It gets all over my couch and I am pissed. The fat one gives me a hand job. I finger the other bitch for a while and the fat one says you know for more money we can be kinky. I don't even look at her and ask the other one how much to [censored] her.

She says 400. I say i'll give you 200 she says ok. She puts a rubber on me and I do her doggy style till i finish then tell them to leave. Overall score 2/10. Don't get hookers out of the yellow pages.

[jaustin]

ughhhhhhhhhh

[Freakin]

You got ripped off... you could have gotten a porn star for cheaper
Just ask handsome

[SkeetyMcdoogle]

HAHAHA this is great. The whole tone of the story is just pissed/depressed and it makes me happy for some reason.

[Dan87]

[ QUOTE ]
HAHAHA this is great. The whole tone of the story is just pissed/depressed and it makes me happy for some reason.

[/ QUOTE ]
I think it was this line that made it
[ QUOTE ]
The fat one gives me a hand job. I finger the other bitch for a while and the fat one says you know for more money we can be kinky. I don't even look at her and ask the other one how much to [censored] her.

[/ QUOTE ]

[SNO FLAKE]

they baby oil stains are permanent. I took the covers off and put them in the wash and they won't go away.

[88jayhawks]

nh

[Freakin]

[ QUOTE ]
they baby oil stains are permanent. I took the covers off and put them in the wash and they won't go away.

[/ QUOTE ]

prostit0wn3d?

[88jayhawks]

lolfataments

[ike]

You know there are lots of forums that have reviews of hookers. Theres no reason to get bad ones.