Film question: the best monologues

[daveT]

There are just certain monologues that are so difficult, that if I were an actor, I feel like I could walk in front of a casting director and just "nail it."

Seriously, I am not an actor (not by Hollywood standards, I did some stage and went on about fifteen auditions, had two feature roles and did a few stunts), but for kicks, I have tried out these monologues and pretty much flubbed them.

Glengary Glenross-

The one where Aleck Baldwin gives the speach. I can't do this without cracking up, and I can't come across convincing. "What's my name? **** you that's my name." Try nailing it, it's not easy.

Dr. Caligary-

Very tough on near the middle, guess could title "who am I?" Yes, it is said by a crazy guy, but it is said with so much meaning and once again, should be funny, but comes across as disgusting.

The Last Dragon-

Sho Nuff's first monologue. Okay, fine, not brilliant but funny that I can't wait to here the rest.

[SoloAJ]

In with the obligatory Independence Day speech!!!

I haven't tried reading these or anything, but I will mention some great monologues with reasoning.

On another note, I really like all of the monologues that Ray Liotta has in Field of Dreams. They're pretty moving for an avid baseball fan and, in general, his passion bleeds through. It is pretty nice.

And I suppose mentioning Field of Dreams I have to mention James Earl Jones speech. But the Shoeless Joe ones are underrated. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Annnnd finally, the director's commentary for Phone Booth says that he did the climactic monologue first take, live in front of a bunch of people. I know some who thought the speech (and movie) sucked, but I thought that was pretty amazing. I saw emotion, shrug.

[Stagger_Lee]

(Monty walks into the bathroom. He looks in the mirror. In the bottom corner, someone's written [censored] You!)
Monty: Yeah, [censored] you, too.
Monty's Reflection: [censored] me? [censored] you! [censored] you and this whole city and everyone in it.
[censored] the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back.
[censored] squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a [censored] job!
[censored] the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores and stinking up my day. Terrorists in [censored] training. Slow the [censored] down!
[censored] the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35.
[censored] the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English?
[censored] the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you [censored] came from!
[censored] the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds!
[censored] the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe mother [censored], figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron [censored] to jail for [censored] life! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that [censored]? Give me a [censored] break! Tyco! Imclone! Adelphia! Worldcom!
[censored] the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst [censored]' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, because they make the Puerto Ricans look good.
[censored] the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, and their St. Anthony medallions. Swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos.
[censored] the Upper East Side wives with their Hermés scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart!
[censored] the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take fives steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the [censored] on!
[censored] the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust!
[censored] the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. [censored] the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, [censored] JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in [censored] Otisville, Jay!
[censored] Osama bin Laden, al-Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist [censored] everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal, Irish ass!
[censored] Jacob Elinski, whining malcontent.
[censored] Francis Xavier Slaughtery, my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass.
[censored] Naturel Rivera. I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back. Sold me up the river. [censored] bitch.
[censored] my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar. Sipping on club soda, selling whiskey to firemen and cheering the Bronx Bombers.
[censored] this whole city and everyone in it. From the row houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue. From the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to [censored] ash then let the waters rise and submerge this whole, rat-infested place.
Monty: No. No, [censored] you, Montgomery Brogan. You had it all and then you threw it away, you dumb [censored]!
(He takes a breath and tries to rub away the words.)

[ChipWrecked]

My first thought was George C. Scott's rendition of Patton's monologue in that masterpiece.

I'm afraid I have little more to offer other than the advice that if you haven't seen the widescreen version of 'Patton', you owe it to yourself to have a look. I would love to see this in a remastered home-theatre setting.

[govman6767]

Otis's speech in "The Last Starfighter" is a really gripping speech about how sometimes you have to do what's best for you.

Actually Centauri's speech while repairing his starcar was a good one too.

[Syberduh]

It's so hard to do a monologue that somebody else has already made famous in a movie. The temptation to immitate the famous actor can be overwhelming - and even well done mimicry is usually not all that interesting. Even if you do your own take on someone else's famous monologue, you're begging to be compared to a famous actor at his or her absolute best with the benefit of perfect lighting, sound, makeup and editing. Very rarely are you going to look good in comparison.

Anyway, Jack Nicholson's speech at the end of A Few Good Men is definitely a classic. So is Michael Douglas' "Greed is good" monologue in Wall Street. Half of Fight Club is internal monologue and it's all very well written.

[mrbaseball]

My favorite would be Bogarts airport "hill of beans" scene in Casablanca. Runner up "I coulda been a contender!" from Brando to Stieger in On the Waterfront.

[Enrique]

My favorite monologue (by far) is Charlie Chaplin in the Great Dictator:

I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone, and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge as made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The airplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say, do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish. Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you, enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines, you are not cattle, you are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts! You don't hate! Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it is written that the kingdom of God is within man, not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power. Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfill that promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfill that promise. Let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite! Hannah, can you hear me? Wherever you are, look up Hannah! The clouds are lifting! The sun is breaking through! We are coming out of the darkness into the light! We are coming into a new world; a kindlier world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed, and brutality. Look up, Hannah! The soul of man has been given wings and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow! Into the light of hope, into the future! The glorious future, that belongs to you, to me and to all of us. Look up, Hannah. Look up!

[SoloAJ]

I take back what I said in my post. I tried doing the one Stagger Lee mentioned from 25th Hour. I bombed. That one is really good.

[MrMon]

One of the classic monologues in English is from Henry V, the St. Crispin's Day speech. For those who don't know the lead-in to the speech, the English are attempting to leave France, but have been blocked by the French army and are outnumbered 5 to 1. The French are all heavy cavalry, the English are mostly dismounted cavalry and longbowmen. Things aren't looking too good and the English are about to revolt. The is Henry's speech to rally the troops before the battle. If you don't want to go kill some French dudes after this, then you have no soul. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Henry V - St. Crispin's Day Speech

BTW, this version, the Kenneth Branagh one, is an excellent movie even if you aren't into Shakespaere. You can enjoy it just for the battle scenes alone, and the tracking shot through the aftermath of the battle is one of the best in the history of film, not to mention the fact that Branagh has to lug a body through a muddy field for most of it.