Long Story and Chat but worth it

packley · #1 03-30-2007, 05:32 PM

Ok here is the backstory a few friends and myself have this other poker site but we frequent all them to talk. Anyway he started talk about the wildest place you had sex. well I posted about the weirdest sex I accidentally walked in on. which is this.

"

Ok this one isn't about the weirdest place I ever did whoopie but the oddest place and time I walked in on someone else doing whoopie.

I was at this poker game of 3 tables. Everything is going good for the night it's a mixed crowd with a lot of people I didn't know. Well Let's just say the host of the party had to leave for the evening so now it's free to walk around as you like for the evening. well everyone is getting really drunk and i notice a couple of people flirting a lot and keep walking downstairs together, walking to the kitchen and bathroom lines togehter and are becoming more and more touchy feely on each other. Well an hour or two later and more shots going around I notice that she gets up and leaves, then not 2 minutes later he gets up too(this is during the game and not even on a break) well they are gone for a bit so me being nosey say i have to go to the bathroom and what do you know nobody is in there but the bedroom door is shut which is right near the bathroom and i hear muffled grunts coming from there. So being drunk and a jerk, i open the door and ask what's going on......he is on top of her and they are doing it......the best part was I walked in right while he was "finishing" and since he was so embarrased he was caught where he was pulled out doing his do blah blah blah, he tried hiding and grabbed the pillow off the bed and finished in on or around that pillow, i fell over but this was obviously too embarrassing to them to run out and tell everyone what just happened so i kept it quiet but that was the weirdest thing. They came out about 5 minutes later,e veryone too drunk really to notice and I think they purposely busted so they could leave because of embarrassement being at the same table with me.

Ahhhh funniest crap i ever saw."

So my buddy Jim contacts me on IM come to find out he had no idea it happened in his place. Here is the chat log, i had to post itsomewhere because it's cracking me up. Oh I took out the gilrs name because she reads all the pokersites too and I don't want her too embarrassed even if none of you know who she is.

Here is the chat log:

Jim: just a [censored] second

somone [censored] on my bed?

me: i'm not saying anything, i was just telling a funny story. I forget the place. not very important that was like a year or two ago

Jim: was it MY bed? I mean who else leaves their house during a poker game and goddamnit you are obligated to tell me who [censored] in my bed

me: dude i didn't want it to get like this. didn't you know?

Jim: no

me: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh [censored] sorry man

Jim: no.......tell me who the rat bastid is

me: what do you expect when you have people and alcohol

Jim: ron

who spilled their jizz on my bed and didn't tell me

me: lol well just imagine who the drunkest people are at those things and you have your culprits

Jim: well i'm always the drunk

me: yeah but you never stay around and dont' mind jizzing on your own bed

Jim: exactly now you HAVE to tell me what [censored] would cream all over my [censored] and not let me know so i could change them

me: ok let me put it this way, woh gets drunk enough to bang girls at a poker game, and now the girls have to be the kind that will do anything for a boyfriend or attention

Jim: i mean banging on a friends bed is one thing not cleaning up afterwards is another

you saying brad [censored] xxxx on my bed?

me: I don't want to say he didn't [censored] on your bed

Jim: wtf kind of crazy talk is that

did brad [censored] on my bed and not tell me?

me: I had no idea you didn't know, why do you think we made fun of him all the time and joked about wild sex places with him and XXXX

Jim: that is just [censored] wrong on so many levels

i'm glad i got a new bed for xmas

me: it's brad and xxxx, he got really drunk a lot and she was willing to do anything to him. I'm sure they cleaned up afterwards to where you didn't sleep in it

I'm sure that's part of the reason he started blowing her off too because i worked with him and coulnd't stop making fun of him, but then we did laugh about the pillow part and him covering up i wish i had a camera.

Jim: what a [censored]

me: he's brad, can't be mad at him. he was busting his divorce cherry a lot he had to do what he had to do

Jim: [censored] not to mention it was xxxx

me: [censored] you said it was your house, edit that, i purposely didn't say your place for the people that didn't know

Jim: i mean do you realize that if samantha ever heard about this she would never sleep with me again

me: whatever dude, how long was he banging her. again doesn't matter what's worse is i have that image burned into my retna FOR [censored] EVER!!!

LOL why it's [censored] hilarious

Jim: but i slept on their [censored] for at least a few days, that’s worse!!!

me: LMAO damn this story gets better by the second

Jim: i hate you and him

me: lol i was an innocent bystander that is scarred for life

Jim: fu

me: dont' get mad at me or i'll start talking [censored] about how you probably slept with your mouth open on his jizz pillow

Jim: [censored]

me: FU back, and i bet he cleaned up xxxx juices with it too. DON'T GET MAD AT ME BITCH :d

Jim: [censored] him

i'm gonna tell the whole story in a second

me: whats the whole story?

Jim: names bitch

then i'm gonna email his gf and link her

me: maybe they changed the sheets so you'd never know instead of just strip the bed, brad was thoughtful like that

Jim: [censored]

drunk brad isn't thoughtful

me: he is

Jim: here i was trying to start a fun thread and you go and ruin my whole [censored] day

me: especially since he [censored] xxxxx on your bed, he would know better than to leave those messes around, i'm thinking for your benefit he ws cool like that

Jim: i'm kicking his ass if i ever see him again

me: well get in line behind jimbo

Jim: i don't know if i wish he had done it in my kids bed or not

me: that is so wrong

Jim: i'll kick jimbo's ass just to make sure i'm the one that gets to beat brad

me: can't do it on kids beds

dude brad had to break his divorce cherry, not like he has standards when it comes to chicks and when you're recently divorced you take it where you can get it

Jim: he could have done it in the bathroom or in the car.......every time i've banged a chic at a friends house i've stripped the bed and told him it's like a [censored] rule

me: wow even that drunk?

good rule though but you couldnt do it anywhere in your house but your bed, dude upstairs a ton of people i'm surpsied they had the nerve to do it in there but you have to love alcohol

Jim: my doors have locks

me: ok, they are drunks
Jim: ok we will never discuss this again

i'm gonna get hammered tonight to kill today's memories and you will never speak of it again

me: LOL what do i get out of this

Jim: stfu your an ass

me: everytime you piss me off i can bring this up

Jim: there's busting balls and then there's just [censored] inappropriate this falls into the latter category.

me: only becasue you slept in brad juices

Jim: stfu

me: lol ok ok ok i'll stop but if the shoe was on the other foot you'd be laughing your ass off right now

Jim: i would have taken it to my grave

me: LOL no you wouldn't have

Jim: if samantha ever hears of this i am gonna blow up

it was bad enough when someone told her i banged xxxx.......this one would be much worse

me: why would she really care it was awhile ago and way past that now

Jim: would erin care if i [censored] some nasty [censored] that you had banged in your guys' bed

yes she would

me: she would be pissed at you not me oh and i don't let nasty [censored] that i banged in the past around my current wife or gf so i guess i would never know what you're going through, bahahahah i had to say it just to have fun, ok i take that last part back

Jim: [censored] you

me: well wasn't this before sam? when did you start dating her

Jim: i'm not talking to you anymore

me: i'm trying to make it where it's not really that bad, it's a funny thing that happened in the past

guids · #2 03-30-2007, 05:36 PM

Jesus [censored] christ, I didnt read the lame ass chat. But 1. a bedroom is not a weird place to have sex. 2. you are a huge douche bag fro cockblocking some guy having sex 3. next time dont be nosey, mind your own busines, or is trying to find a chick to have sex with you so tough you have to get your kicks walking in on someoene?