thai man tries to talk me into letting him do a hit for me

[xxThe_Lebowskixx]

This was one of my first experiences from living in a new country. I had been in Thailand about a week, and I decided to walk around the red light district for educational purposes and to do some flash photography. I had taken some photos of a women selling fruit, a few stray dogs, and a motorcycle driver when a couple of young ladies dressed as nurses frantically started to grab my arms and other parts of my person pushing me inside of this building. I wasnt sure what was happening, I assumed that they were under the false impression that I was a doctor, and that this was a hospital, and there was an emergency. I pleaded with them to leave me alone, but finally all of their poking convinced me that the circumstances were dire. I might not have been a doctor, but I wasnt going to let these five young ladies in hot pink nursing uniforms down.

When I got inside, I handed my Nikon and my lenses to one of the young ladies and said "Will you place this somewhere safe". She took it from me and put it down right on the couch beside us, which didnt seem too safe and I was beginning to get suspicious if this was really a hospital. Another nurse began to massage my shoulders and told me that I was very handsome and I should take a soapy bath. She spoken in broken english and it I was not sure what she was trying to convey. I looked around, and all I saw were thai women dressed in hot pink nursing outfits, with their tiny brown nipples pertruding via lace blouses and their healthy legs crossed and glowly. Where am I? For a moment I considered that this was actually a brothel, but then I remembered that brothels are placing of horror and terror and that these asian angels looked way to happy to be prostitutes or 'good time' girls. I was beginning to get dizzy and paranoia was setting in when I shouted, "What's the status on that 4-0-0? Get me an IV stat". No one responded, they just kept smiling. For nurses, they did not seem very familiar with english medical terms. I called one of the tall ones over with my index finger, which caused the rest to start giggling like school girls. With this show of immaturity, it hit me, this is a nursing school and they are eager to practice with a young Westerner. The tall one took my hand and placed it around her perfect waist and said "Ok". I guess the exam was starting. I imagined that they were also interested in learning some english. I pointed down: "couch", "table", "chair". They looked at me with confusion, and I could see that I would need to return often if they were really going to learn. I quickly grabbed two of the other young nurses, figuring a group lesson would be appropiate given the circumstances.

Entering the classroom, I was a bit surprised that there were so many posters of naked women on the walls, but I reminded myself that this is a different culture. It was strange to find a nursing school in a red light district. What are the odds? Being an alpha male, I would never consider doing something as despicable as paying a women for sex. I inspected the jacuzzi in the middle of the room, and looked around for a piece of blank paper when I was horrifed to see that the three young women had taken off all of their clothing and were rubbing oil onto eachothers bodies. I will not bore you with the process of our examination: who put what where, who said what, who won the special prize at the end, but I will say that these young ladies are very good at what they do and that Thailand's nursing schools make for a very relaxing Tuesday morning.

After getting dressed and making a few donations to the girls tuition funds, I collected my camera and exited the building. I was feeling quite relaxed walking down the street when some angry man bumped into me causing my camera to fall and shatter on the ground. He said something about being sorry and he looked like he was afraid of the damage he called. Seeing his fear, and given my now Buddha like level of calmness and enlightenment, I gently looked into his eyes, placed a hand on his shoulder and said nothing. After about 30 seconds he backed up and walked away.

I continued down the road when a thai male whispered to me from a dark alley, "Camera you broke, I fix 1000 baht". What an amazing run of luck. "You can fix my camera?". "No, no, no." He showed me a switch blade. "I fix him, 1000 baht".

"No," I said. "That's okay".