Emotional infidelity vs Sexual/physical infidelity: which is worse?

[EricW]

Evolutionary psychologists have done cross culture studies that suggest men view physical/sexual infidelity is worse than emotional infidelity. On the other hand, women view emotional infidelity is worse than physical/sexual infidelity.

Potential reasons for this is because of the challenges each sex is faced in terms of mating and choosing a partner to mate with. Men probably view physical infidelity is worse than emotional infidelity because of paternal reasons. Way back when, if a male's partner was sleeping around with a bunch of other males, then figuring out who the baby belongs to might be a problem. Since the goal is to pass along our genes, males don't want the baby to possibly be some other male's.

Conversely, women might view emotional infidelity is worse because way back when, if a male was emotionally attached to another female, that means a male might take his resources or protection away to someone else.

Even today, when you watch TV or whatever a female in a relationship might be straying or bonding with another male who is not the signifcant other. The significant other, when he finds out would usually respond with: "Well did you sleep with him?" It seems that as long as she didn't sleep with the dude she has built a connection with, everything can be forgiven even if there was an intense emotional attachment built.

With women, it seems that they are more willing to forgive a spouse sleeping with another woman and they are willing to patch things up. However, the female significant other seems more hurt if the male significant other has built an intense emotional attachment with another female.

Now my question is which one do you think is worse? Are you more willing to forgive your girlfriend if she built an intense emotional relationship with an other man and was pondering about sleeping with him as long as she doesn't commit the deed? (If there are any women on this forum, just make the situation opposite)

To me, I can't really differentiate between the two evils. If I was really emotionally and physically attached to my girlfriend and she had developed some sort of intense bond with another man (one that also includes a physical attraction but she has never acted on it) I would find that just as hurtful as if she had slept with another guy.

Thoughts?

[Performify]

I've been in both scenarios.

They both hurt, but I am of the typical camp that finds physical infidelity worse than emotional.

An intense emotional bond comes up, but she's smart enough to tell that person: you know what, I really like you, but I'm in a committed relationship and this can't happen - is much better than spur of the moment physical infidelity just for the pleasure.

[CrazyEyez]

tl;dr

Physical is a bigger deal for men, emotional bigger deal for women.

If my relationship had reach the point of either, it's probably a relationship that's doomed anyway.

However, we are the sum of our actions, not thoughts. A man who thinks of murder every day, but channels his frustrations into volunteerism at shelters, food banks, whatever, is a positive force in the world despite the fact his emotional driving force isn't the purity of a philanthropist.

If my SO fell in love with someone else, but restrained herself and broke things off, then I'm much more likely to patch things up. However she got herself into that mess, I only have respect for the fact she tried to do the right thing once she reached that point. Now, maybe she's someone that will always have that tendency to emotionally drift, in which case we need to call it off and just acknowledge we aren't compatible.

We often can't help how we feel, but we can exercise restraint in what we actually do.

[guids]

Both equally terrible imo, but you can trick women into beliving physical infidelity isnt as bad.

[Mrs. Utah]

[ QUOTE ]
tl;dr

Physical is a bigger deal for men, emotional bigger deal for women.

[/ QUOTE ]

Not necessarily.

[Aces McGee]

What's the difference between being "emotionally unfaithful" and having "a very close friend of the opposite sex?"

-McGee

[AAAA]

a very close friend of the opposite sex does or looks some way that you find is a deal breaker, or you would be more than friends, unless you are gay.

in which case a a very close friend of the same sex does or looks some way that you find is a deal breaker, or you would be more than friends