Help me break my addictions

[suzzer99]

I have 11 stitches in my leg from a mountain biking injury at Mammoth over the weekend. So while I'm semi-laid up for a couple weeks and figured I'd work on some of my other "issues". Any insight or advice is greatly appreciated.

Tums/Rolaids - I'm up to 6-8 a day I'd say, sometimes more. I never take more than one at a time. But I need them constantly. Even just thinking about them now has triggered that little feeling in the back of my throat that says I'm going to need one soon. I've had waves like this in the past, but then I would just stop needing them for months. This has been at least a year solid.

One time when I was in France I couldn't get any Tums, so I think I wound up with pepcid AC or something. After a couple really rough days, I got used to it, and didn't need tums again for a long time. So my current plan is to try that. Anyone have anything better?


Chewing my nails/cuticles - gross habit I've had all my life. For some reason it's been particularly bad lately. I have some Thum stuff that's supposed to stop babies from sucking their thumbs. Problem is it's pretty weak, but at least enough to remind me I'm not supposed to be doing it. I found a few products on Google I might try. Anyone have any experience with this stuff?


Caffeine - I really haven't decided if now is the right time to try to cut it out of my life. But from everything I've read I've become convinced I would be better off w/o it. Right now I drink some kind of big espresso drink in the morning every day, and maybe half the time - another smaller one in the afternoon.


Cocaine - doh, didnt see that one coming did ya? Honestly I didn't even plan on putting this one down, it just kind of popped out. For good reason I would assume.

I don't do it that often, maybe once a month. But 38 is way to old to still be messing around with that [censored]. I want to kill myself for a week afterwards. I think I sort of have a handle on what I need to do here, mainly stop hanging out with certain people for a while. At least until it's far enough behind me that I think I can know it's around and not jump on it.

For the most part with my friends the days of laying out a big plate are over, they just scuttle off and do their little bumps in bathrooms or bedrooms. Come to think of it, it may be a long time, like a few years before I can be around that while drinking and not end up doing it. Ugh.

It's weird though, for a couple weeks after a blowout night I won't even want to think about it. But after about 3 weeks I definitely start to get antsy and feel like I need to let off some steam. I'm not real enjoyable to be around. Then when I do, I feel guilty and ashamed and apparently am very easy to get along with. How do you go to rehab for something that happens once a month? It's not like it's ruining my life or career. But it's certainly hampering me from growing or moving forward in a lot of ways.


porn - J/K! I'm going to need a steady diet of porn to even get through half the items above.

[shemp]

Ever thought about a shrink? I have no experience with that sort of thing, but have no compunction about suggesting it for someone else... You list five specific things you have identified that want to change, it gives you a yardstick for measuring your interaction with a professional and how they are at addressing practical problems.

[suzzer99]

Yeah I used to see one off and on a few years ago. When I was partying a LOT more and really going through some ups and downs. It helped a little, but not much more than calling one of my friends and unloading on them, or at least it seemed.

I think the problem is that shrinks are more geared to tackle BIG problems. Right now I think I have a lot of little problems, but no more than the average 38-year old with some baggage. Most people get through the day and their life just fine with this stuff. But I really want to work on being a better person. I don't want to be turning 40 and still in the same ruts. Maybe I need something more like a life coach.

Btw - add 2p2 to the list of addictions. I think most of you know what I'm talking about.

[otnemem]

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I think I sort of have a handle on what I need to do here, mainly stop hanging out with certain people forever.

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[secretprankster]

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but no more than the average 38-year old with some baggage.

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Cocaine

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I want to kill myself for a week afterwards.

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[suzzer99]

Ok - average 38-year old with some baggage in LA.

That work better?

Also - "want to kill myself for a week" was being a little dramatic. Basically there are a couple days of chemical depression that are pretty rough, even though I know it will end. During those two days everything I'm trying to do with my life seems completely pointless and futile. Then a couple days of feeling not 100% right. Then I'm back to normal more or less.

But you guys are right. This is a big one. Maybe I'm just trying to start by focusing on a couple little ones like tums and cuticles, and build on that.

[kidcolin]

Don't give up caffeine dude. I tried to, once, and I hated it. Not because it was hard, but because coffee is awesome. It's really one of the great, simple joys in life for me. I have at least a cup a day, sometimes two.

It doesn't sound like you're drinking too much. Maybe change your big espresso drink to a smaller one, or just a cup of coffee.

[thirddan]

i only know about the nail biting thing, i used to do that as a kid...

i remember once my mom took me with her when she was getting a manicure, the nail lady put some nailpolish remover stuff on my fingernails so that when i would bit them it tasted nasty...seemed to help...

[SamG]

I wouldn't worry about any of the others until you can stop doing cocaine.

[guids]

suzz,

I pretty much stopped partying nowadays, havent done it much, If I feel the need to though, I do, but I start it later in the night. Rather than the standard routine of pre-dinner cocktails, dinner at 8, fat line at 9:30, Ill just start about 11:30, and make sure that I stop by 2 or so, so I can fall asleep by 4 or 5, a little weed helps too. I dont feel as bad the next day, and the chemical depression is non-existant nowadays, it also satisfies the antsy super excited feeling I get after not drinking/partiny hardcore for a couple weeks, w/o laying me up for a few days. My main problem is that I have too much energy. If I go a couple weeks doing nothing but eating right, working out hard etc, I have so much pent up energy (for no real reason really), that when I party, I party hard and fast, but I just keep it in check now.