The High stakes Pro (LONG and maybe wrong forum)

[xZExROx]

No idea what forum this should be in. No idea why i wrote it. It became long.

Cliff notes – a familiar story for high stakes pros. may amuse some.

The high stakes story..

1) Hear about poker from rounders, through a friend or through some other obscure way that will make a good story.

2) Deposit a nominal amount of money, say $50, and grind it out at super low limits for thousands of hands.

3) Race your way through the lower limits, learning as you go and notice your initial deposit is now >10k.

3.5) Post graph on 2+2 to impress high stakes players residing in steps 9-10.

4) Either have a decent downswing at low limits followed by a shot at 5/10 NL ‘because its all profit’ or decide its your time and move up to 5/10NL or higher because poker is all skill and you’ve never had a downswing.

5) Run super hot at 5/10 NL +, continue to post and develop 2+2 internet persona. Beware, choose your persona wisely, it may haunt you in step 10. Do not agree to a flip and chicken out. Dream about aba (unless you are aba).

5.5) Should you wish to remain anonymous, proceed to step 14.

6) Begin to engage in ridiculous negative EV prop bets with famous internet personas residing in steps 9-10 (alternative skill games to illustrate intellect outside poker are ideal), thus satisfying NVG and BBV as well as letting other pros you’re willing to gambol your newly found riches.

7) Win 400k+ or some equivalently ridiculous amount. Buy a hot car and a fake ID. Go to Vegas. Be sure to post a sick graph or in some other way let your 2+2 persona fans know you have lots of dollars (prop bets, entering seriously low EV high buyin HU tourneys, cars, trips to vegas, cars - all work). Option : Give out ridiculous loans and progress straight to step 12.

8) Join cardrunners and begin making instructional videos (this may increase those entering step 1), consider joining SIHB if your persona is balla enough for them to accept you, develop a love for betting on neutral EV situations.

9) Go on either your first ever or biggest downswing (depending on outcome in step 4), develop a love for 200/400 PLO b/c you need to ‘learn new games’, swear that FTP is rigged, either go nuts and lose it all (go to step 2 with an attitude) or become cathartic about losing more money than most make in 10 years and take some time off.

10) Wonder why there are hundreds of threads on 2+2 about you losing stacks of cash and why all your fans are now surprisingly happy that your internet persona is either busto or close to it. Move down in limits to work on your game and to promote busto rumours (any promotion is good promotion). Consider backing lots of donkament prospects.

11) Disappear completely or for a decent amount of time, preferably by renouncing 2+2 because of one ridiculous post by a troll or because there is “not enough analysis anymore”. Then proceed to either of your ‘fate’ steps 12 or 13…

12) Go busto. Poker is rigged. At least you were rich once and had a famous persona amongst college poker lovers. Turn 20. Leave numbered story.

13) Create a new screen name after your reflective break and continue to crush games as you used to. Quit PLO and prop bets. Pay the overdue insurance on the Bentley. Eagerly await step 14.

14) Crush online poker and make lots of dollars.

How many people get to step 14 ?

[ahnuld]

this is stupid and wrong. Nice allusion to CTS but other than that one step everything else is completely wrong.

[Evolve]

Im still in step 2.. only im going backwards.

[baronzeus]

Post deleted by Dids

[sdfsdf]

so this is what railtards think about

[Daddy Warbucks]

Aw man, i thought this thread was going to be about HighStakesPro

[xZExROx]

not about cts, wrote it quickly, just realised two allusions to cts. not intended. flame away.

[glimmertwin]

[ QUOTE ]
not about cts, wrote it quickly, just realised two allusions to cts. not intended. flame away.

[/ QUOTE ]

I know why you wrote this:

[ QUOTE ]

Dream about aba
Dream about aba
Dream about aba
Dream about aba
Dream about aba


[/ QUOTE ]

Try and find yourself a nice girlfriend, son. You don't need a Bentley to do that. That, along with the power of prayer, may eventually end these dreams you've been having.

Failing that, you could go for a hook-up with luckyjimm. He's a respectable middle class degenerate who likes to fantasize about the online pros as well. You could both get yourselves masks made -- so you'd both look LDO -- and then bang away at each other till your hearts are content.

[luckyjimm]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
not about cts, wrote it quickly, just realised two allusions to cts. not intended. flame away.

[/ QUOTE ]

I know why you wrote this:

[ QUOTE ]

Dream about aba
Dream about aba
Dream about aba
Dream about aba
Dream about aba


[/ QUOTE ]

Try and find yourself a nice girlfriend, son. You don't need a Bentley to do that. That, along with the power of prayer, may eventually end these dreams you've been having.

Failing that, you could go for a hook-up with luckyjimm. He's a respectable middle class degenerate who likes to fantasize about the online pros as well. You could both get yourselves masks made -- so you'd both look LDO -- and then bang away at each other till your hearts are content.

[/ QUOTE ]


Why thank you!

Although if you read my blog you won't find a single mention of online pros, dreamt-about or otherwise.

[zalw619]

I was having a bad day till i read this, I then realize that there is someone out there who needs help more than me, please go do something with you life, ride a bike, read a book, try masturbating or something