Brag: Got jumped by 4 guys in a parking lot at work. . . and won.

[T.J. Combo]

So there I was coming home from my job as CEO of a major organization (not going to say which one obviously), and I exit the enormous building I own to a vast, empty parking lot, which I also own.

I strode to my car using my long, tan, muscular legs which could easily squat the mint condition 1968 Camero with 13,000 miles on it I was driving that day for kicks.

All of the sudden, I get this tingling up the back of my broad, muscular spine and I turn around to see 2 ninjas darting at me from the shade with lasers.

I'm like: "No way." and then I jumped at least 17 feet in the air and the ninjas were like "Whoah" and I dropkicked one in the face and bounced off of him and propelled myself through the torso of the other ninja, killing him instantly.

After I gracefully rolled to my feet, I turn around to face the other crippled ninja and I'm like "What now butthole?" and he was crying and pissing all over the place when suddenly I felt a glancing pain on my cheek and this throwing star had grazed me after a THIRD ninja had shot it out of this massive throwing star canon. I turn around and look at him and he has all these grenades strapped to him and I'm like "Heh, finally, a challenge."

So I ran up the side of the building with grenades exploding all around me because I'm awesome like that, and I run all the way up the side of it to the roof and when I get there, there's a helicopter and this dude jumps out of it and claps real slow.

This dude is all fancy looking and real pale and he's probably about 7 feet tall with a big cape and a tuxedo and a rose in his lapelle. But I was like "Heh, whatev." and I jumped up and kicked him, but I just bounced off and it didn't even phase him. I knew right then he was a dracula, so I was like crap, a dracula.

So here i am on top of this roof fighting an epic fight with this dracula and all the sudden the 3 ninjas show back up even the dead one and they're all werewolves and i'm like wtf, but i didn't sweat it because i know how to fight a dracula with werewolves.

I ducked a little, then took a step backward and kicked and i flew up in the air a little spinning and kicking and i kicked all 4 of them at the same time, then i took a step forward, ducked, then stook another step forward and punched and i flew like 18 feet in the air and fire came off my hand and the 3 werewolves dissentigrated and then i landed and the drac was looking pissed because i just killed his buds, but i just looked at him like what now homie?

Then he whipped out a 40 and took a drank and spilled the rest of it on the roof for his fallen soldiers and that was when things heated up and got serious for once. He runs at me and does this awesome spinning flip kick and i get sent sailing off the roof, but lucky for me i landed on an awning and bounced up and i stuck this awesome kickass landing, then i jumped out of the way to dodge this punch that made a huge crater in the cement. I didn't know what i could do to hurt him, this dude was so badassed, i just kept dodging his attacks and my clothes were ripped and i looked so badass all battle damaged and then i remembered that dracs hate the sun, so i grabbed him by his stupid popped collar and flung him into outer space and he exploded from sunlight lol

Then me and my buds who were watching and rofling the whole time left the scene to hit the next partay

[Grey]

parody + tl;dr = uhhhh

[Spechel EDD]

this is gonna be the rickroll for th eaday

[King_S]

I thought he killed himself?! lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

[deflY]

tl;dr

[fslexcduck]

what does this parody? link please

[Grey]

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...=0#Post11015726

[Warteen]

I read up to "ninjas with lasers". Obviously not true, DUCY?

[Nogatsira]

how many knives did they have?
i hope you pimpslapped the trowingstarcannon out of his hand,

[qdmcg]

[ QUOTE ]


This dude is all fancy looking and real pale and he's probably about 7 feet tall with a big cape and a tuxedo and a rose in his lapelle. But I was like "Heh, whatev." and I jumped up and kicked him, but I just bounced off and it didn't even phase him. I knew right then he was a dracula, so I was like crap, a dracula.

[/ QUOTE ]

totally standard