Live SSNL Strategy - Beating the handicapped like a sport

Dan BRIGHT · #1 06-25-2007, 02:01 AM

Tea-god and I went to a casino to donk around in some live 1/2nl action. The cast of villains were a lineup of mutant troglodytes each with their own unique defect. These defects ranged from extreme anger management issues to tight-passive angry nit bitching.

I head to the cashier and try to get 200 in 1s for playing with. They only have like 60. Terrible.

I arrive at the table before Teagod does because i was #1 on the list! I buyin at the table for the maximum allowed.

"do you want to post"
<already had chips ready> "yea whatever"

I'm in seat two. One of the worst seats since I can never tell how big ppls stacks are. It wouldnt be long until my hungry godzilla stack ate their little moron-sstakes stacks.

Theres a limper behind me. I look down at a couple of black hookers and make it $10. Call. Call. Call. Call. Call. Big blind counts out some chips, "$50". Folded to me "how much you have behind?" "120" "allin" A random shorty comes along for the ride. His ku klux kowboys holds up to beat my baby Js. I reload right away.

Teagod arrives and makes it to seat 8 so we pretty much never play hands together. He's really nitty so thats fine for me.

I proceed to get dealt trash the entire time. That doenst matter though. My opponents are reallllly aweful. They think im really aweful too. Teagod's neighbores keep whisperin things like:

"man im gonna get a hand and bust him!"
"he just keeps raising and raising"
"<murmur murmur murmur> nine seven offsuit" <----- after I ship a big one with 2 pairs, 9s n 7s!
"yea reraising to 15bbs GREAT strategy!" <---- a fat woman I had position on. Shes about a 3/10 and pretty gross. Since Im trying to tilt and mess with these sstakes guys, and she happened to be unfortunate enough to have me on her left, I 3bet her with trash all the time. The 15bb comment came after she makes it 7 pf and i make $30 with 67o, since she called my 25 dollar raise the time before.

Here is the overall strategy:

Preflop:
open
77+ just raise normally for about $10+
22-66 for anywhere between 4 and 10 dollars. if there are limpers make a stupid small raise. Dont forget to make these dummy small raises with j7o when ppl all limp to your big blind and give a moderate effort to win the pot and show it down
open suited 3 gappers for like 10-15 dollars. If there are limpers make it 15.
face cards - 10+ dollars
offsuit connectors 56o and up - treat as suited cards
hands lik Q3s - treat as suited 3gappers
anything else that looks reasonable (q9o 8to etc) raise them as well.

If ppl are calling too much start raising even more. They are so bad postflop it makes up for it.

If there are a bunch of limpers make it like 15 to 30 dollars typically. Youll get like one call and he'll checkfold flops like its his job. If hes short try betting the same amount you raised preflop to. He has no idea what pot size is and wil still fold.

IMPORTANT: the players to your right are your enemies! but dont tell them that. Almost every time they raise and their range is a little weaker than utg range, you wanna 3bet em with almost any hand you play. They'll bitch about it but they will continue to suck. This tilts them. Fun !

Another hand. I open QJo somewhere early to $10. I get 3 callers.

board: QQ9 with a flushdraw
checked to me, i bet 25, folded to asian who makes it 50, fold back to me who makes it 75 hoping to induce sillyness. He calls.

Turn: .... waiiiiiiiiiiiit. while the turn card is being burned
me: "allin"

the turn is an 8. Not that it matters. This guy tanks and tanks and tanks and seems legitimately confused, and he eventually calls and donks off the rest of his stack to me there. Great success!

Hud wasnt working all night... never got the hand grabber set up. I was probably running about 40/35. Sometimes I would muck marginal holdings preflop facing tight nit opens to $20 but that was about it. At most there were aboubt 3 semi-nits at the table (think 25 vpip nits)

+$800
time: 3 hours