Soliciting charitable donations - tacky or standard?

[nolanfan34]

For most people, I know charitable giving is a personal and private deal. And for others, it can be a cause big enough to be a key driver in a person's life in which they want to involve others. So where's the line between the two, and how do you balance those sensibilities?

In my case, I've been involved in giving to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation over the last couple of years. My wife and I became involved through friends of mine from high school who have a son with CF. This has been fulfilling on a personal level, because in the case of CF, research is making an impact on lifespan for those affected, so I feel like my time and money is doing some good.

Recently though, I committed myself to participating in one of their larger events, which required a bigger donation than I have given in the past. I was a bit hesitant, but was encouraged by a few people to just solicit donations from friends and family for the cause to help raise the money needed.

Now, my wife and I have received these sort of requests from other friends in the past. And we've donated to family members and friends who have taken part in the Breast Cancer 3-Day, for example.

Still, for some reason, I didn't feel quite right in asking for donations. But with my wife's encouragement, I wrote up a letter anyway, and sent it out to a select number of family and friends. In my gut though, I was still concerned about the way people perceive stuff like this. I felt like it was difficult to send something out to raise awareness, without making people feel obligated to give something, because I know many people give a certain amount each year to set charities, etc.

Some of my angst over this was realized today after getting an e-mail from my step-father, who was critical of this approach (there are some other issues and backstory there which I won't get into). At the very least though, it certainly affirmed some of my fears that people might be offended.

So, El D forum, what say you? How do you approach charitable situations like this? Do you get offended when people solicit donations? Do you feel obligated when you receive requests like this? Or are there other ways you might go about it if you were in my situation?

Any thoughts would be appreciated, I thought perhaps this would make a good discussion.

[jzpiano]

For me, if my family or close friends ask me for money for a given cause I will give my time and listen to what they have to say and if I feel it is a worthy cause I will donate. If an acquaintance or a stranger asks for money I will get offended. In certain instances I have been known to get pissed off at people for asking for money, but only if they come to my door and won't leave after I ask, but that's another matter.

I should mention that I will always give to certain organizations and causes, albeit few, because they have affected me personally in one way or another.

[turnipmonster]

I think it's tacky to solicit from family/friends, mass emails at work are borderline but lots of ppl do it so I guess it's accepted. I don't get offended when people solicit donations from me, but many times these donations are for really inefficient charities and it's kind of weird to be like "no thanks, I'd rather donate to doctors without borders etc".

[IggyWH]

Nolan,

Your stepfather sounds like a real ass. I have a problem with people who complain about this type of stuff. If you don't want to give, that's fine, but to bitch at someone because they're trying to do good?

I got a lot of this when I was a kid because I was a cub/boy scout. We'd always be doing something to raise money for someone but it rarely was just a "you give money and don't get anything in return" type thing. It was always selling candy or hogies or some other junk. Here I am 10 years old going door to door and I have grown ass adults bitching me out because I had the nerve to ask them to help support a local community group who would do a lot in the community. Things were even worse when I would go out on my own and collect for MDA as the local broadcast was just a mile up the road so it was easy for me to take the donations in.

I like the passive approach you took by sending a letter because people who really don't want to give can get away easier than if you called them up or asked them in person.

[nyc999]

I see no problem in what you did - especially if among family and close friends. You obviously feel strongly about the organization to which you donate, and if that comes through in the letter, I would never have a problem whether I decide to give or not.

What I do dislike is people who pass around donation forms at work, where you're virtually obligated to donate, and everyone can see how much you decided to give.

[Dids]

Nolan,

I personally would be very turned off by a letter. I see no problem with asking somebody in person, but a letter seems slightly passive/agressive (I know this isn't your intent, but I think it invites that perception). Basically the only people I'd feel ok asking are the kind of people for whom a conversation would be easier than a letter.

[nolanfan34]

[ QUOTE ]
I like the passive approach you took by sending a letter because people who really don't want to give can get away easier than if you called them up or asked them in person.

[/ QUOTE ]

This was part of the reason I did send a letter. I actually thought that would be less awkward than trying to have personal conversations where people might feel even more pressured.

For those who feel it's tacky, is it because you don't want to feel obligated, or it puts you in a weird position? I can see that, that was part of my worry in sending a letter out.

[turnipmonster]

for me it's just a question of which I would prefer, friends/family asking me to contribute to their charities or not asking, and for me I prefer the latter. it's awkward because I fully support the idea and spirit of what they're doing, although I'd like to allocate the money I donate in my own way.

[The Yugoslavian]

Ummm, you do what you feel strongly about and is in accordance with your inner values....if they can't handle saying "no" to something then that is on them.

Personally I'd call just so people get a more genuine sense of why you're doing this and inviting them to help out.

Yugoslav

[jeffnc]

I think it's tacky to solicit donations. But, I think it's fine to increase awareness. Just make sure that there's a separation between you asking for money and them learning about something and volunteering. They should have a way to do it without knowing if they contributed or not. For example, you might point someone to
http://www.nature.org/
and
http://www.charitynavigator.org/inde...orgid/4208.htm

(I picked that at random from a list I got from a Google search.)

You increase awareness without grubbing for money, or knowing what they did with that "awareness", since that is their business.