Wife problems Part II

[NicksDad1970]

Cliff notes at bottom.

Someone asked me to post a follow up. I'm glad I was asked because I wanted to get some additional feedback.

So the way it was left as of my original post was that my wife was leaving for a few days and I may at some point have to make a decision between my son and my wife.

Many people said based on that I should leave her. Well I agree IF I thought she actualy meant it. I do think she meant it (pretty much) at the time. But I thought as time went by she would realize that was crazy and change her attitude.

Ok, so anyway I must admit the first day or so away from each other was great because we couldn't speak without arguing. It also allowed me to play a lot of poker.

Last Friday she stopped by my work with Sarah. I loved being able to see my daughter. She's just awesome. my wife and I had spoke a little and were getting along just fine.

Then she hints about coming back. I told her that I thought we should cool off over the weekend. She said it would be nice to hear me tell her "I miss you too much, come home now!". I told her after all her little threats it's hard for me to read which is a threat and which isn't.

I told her that I would like to be with her for many many years. So a couple more days apart is nothing in the big scheme of things.

Sunday morning she calls me and tells me she's taking the kids to her parents lakehouse. (obviously my son isn't with them. He went to Florida with his mother) I was a bit surprised since we had talked about being apart for the weekend. I didn't harp on it too much. She tried to make it come across as it was about as much for a vacation for her kids as anything. I took it in stride and figured if nothing else I could play some more poker.

So Wednesday comes along.... We had discussed her coming back that day sometime. I thought she was coming back in the afternoon. So I took the day off work to go play some more poker. But before I did I wanted to call her and make sure she wasn't on the way home. I didn't want her to be pissed at me for going off playing in a poker tourney right when she got home.

So I call her and she doesn't answer...So off to the casino I go. Well about an hour later she calls baback tellin me they're leaving the lakehouse.

On the way back from the casino I call her and mention that we should go out to eat for dinner. She agrees.

Then my son calls me and says they just got back in Memphis and would I pick him up. Well damn right I will this week my days are Wednesday and Thursday. I call my wife knowing she's not going to be happy with it. But she held her composure and says "Wow, you're going from all alone to a full house. You're going to go crazy with all of em huh? he he." She really said it in a nice way though. I reply with "Ya, but I miss everyone so it's cool"

Then out of nowhere she says "Well I can juts go back to my moms. I do have options"!

I was like WTF where did that come from. So we went back and forth and I felt like telling her she really needed to see a dr about her issues. But I left it alone.

Then she says "I sure hope you're ex is around tomorrow because I'm not picking Nick up at school"

I thought we had this all worked out. I told her we had some real big problems because I'll be DAMNED if my son isn't welcome in our house just because I'm not there. I told her on the days that are my days Nicholas is as welcome in that house as her kids were.

I told her if we lined up 1000 adults not a single one of them would even partailly agree with her. She said she knew that but she wanted to cause some hardship on my ex. I told her that was complete BS and I wasn't going to stand for it.

She finally decided that was fine but wasn't ever going to do anything for my ex. I told her this had nothing to do with my ex. It was about my son and what's right for us.

As of now we are talking but not talking.

Do I love her? Yes
Do I want things to work out? Yes
Am I miserable right now? Yes
Have I given up? No
What does all this mean? I don't know

There are a couple little things that have happened. I'll add them as time permits.

I almost forgot the cliff notes.

Wife left for 5 days. We cooled off a little and spoke a little on the phone. Wife got back. We argued. No huge improvements but trying to stay optimistic.

[JasonK]

I'm sure it was said in the other thread, but your wife is very immature and spiteful.

[Harruin]

Dump her. She's never going to change.

[kipin]

She seems very selfish. How can she not see helping to take care of your son is something she needs to do for YOU and your SON. Who cares how she feels about your sons mother.

This kind of thing isn't about her, this is about putting others before ones self. She has failed at that test and you should accept that and try to work from there.

Good luck with everything, it's gonna be tough for this to not end badly.

[oreopimp]

you sound pretty solid man, but if the image you give is right, then you're wife is going to drive u insane sooner or later. thats some pretty immature and childish crap shes pulling. Tell her you will not stand for it and she needs to put an end to it now.

[Cry Me A River]

So everything is a power struggle with her?

You must really love drama.

[West]

[ QUOTE ]
Sunday morning she calls me and tells me she's taking the kids to her parents lakehouse. (obviously my son isn't with them. He went to Florida with his mother) I was a bit surprised since we had talked about being apart for the weekend. I didn't harp on it too much. She tried to make it come across as it was about as much for a vacation for her kids as anything. I took it in stride and figured if nothing else I could play some more poker.


[/ QUOTE ]

Got me a little confused here...are you saying you were surprised that she called you since you had agreed to stay apart for the weekend? I guess I don't get what you mean about taking it in stride.

[ QUOTE ]
So Wednesday comes along.... We had discussed her coming back that day sometime. I thought she was coming back in the afternoon. So I took the day off work to go play some more poker. But before I did I wanted to call her and make sure she wasn't on the way home. I didn't want her to be pissed at me for going off playing in a poker tourney right when she got home.

So I call her and she doesn't answer...So off to the casino I go. Well about an hour later she calls baback tellin me they're leaving the lakehouse.

On the way back from the casino I call her and mention that we should go out to eat for dinner. She agrees.

Then my son calls me and says they just got back in Memphis and would I pick him up. Well damn right I will this week my days are Wednesday and Thursday. I call my wife knowing she's not going to be happy with it. But she held her composure and says "Wow, you're going from all alone to a full house. You're going to go crazy with all of em huh? he he." She really said it in a nice way though. I reply with "Ya, but I miss everyone so it's cool"


[/ QUOTE ]

I have to confess - when you made your original post, I was under the impression your son was living with you full time. I didn't realize you only had him with you a few days a week. That actually puts a bit of a different spin on the situation with your wife and picking him up from school. It sounds like you're implying that your "days" with your son rotate. I'm curious why one of those days wouldn't always be on the weekend, when you're actually not working? On weekdays, what time do you get home? Is it not convenient for you to pick him up from your wife? Does your ex insist that he be picked up from school instead of from her home??I'm not saying that your wife should or shouldn't pick him up from school, just that it's obviously not the same as if he was primarily living with you. That's the impression I was under before, which would make her refusing to pick him up to be completely absurd.

Since your days with your son this week were Wednesday and Thursday, shouldn't you have known before Wednesday about picking up your son? Shouldn't your current wife have known this as well (that your son would be around on Wednesday)??? The way you are describing it, it almost sounds like you were pleasantly surprised to hear from your son on Wednesday (even though it was your day with him), and that this was also a surprise to your wife, even though this was apparently the day you planned on coming back together. Why had you and your wife not talked the school thing out prior to the last minute before the end of your cool off....what gives?

[Dominic]

are her kids your kids? WTF is wrong with this woman, not welcoming your SON into your house with open arms?

I know it's a tough situation, but if she doesn't realize her atittude is horrible and needs to change immediately, then there's only one decision you can make: your son.

[zPro]

[ QUOTE ]
She said it would be nice to hear me tell her "I miss you too much, come home now!"

[/ QUOTE ]

She is manipulating you. Do you tolerate this bad behavior from your kids,employess, friends? Your wife should be no exception.

Your wife has no respect for you, she knows you will never walk away. This is the only power she has over you. BE A MAN and show her that you won't tolerate her BS for another second.

DUMP HER, she'll come crawling back.

[Quadstriker]

[ QUOTE ]


DUMP HER, AND DON'T LET HER come crawling back.

[/ QUOTE ]