Help me be funny for TDay

Jihad · #1 09-13-2006, 12:58 PM

OOT,
In the Navy every squadron is required to have a "Safety Standdown" every quarter, which is just a day that we don't fly, don't do [censored], and talk about safety. The whole squadron, enlisted and commissioned alike, gather in a large theater or audotorium, and there is about 5 hours of insanely boring discussion on safety-related stuff. This quarter, ours is going to be held three days prior to Thanksgiving.

Since every one of these things is so boring, there's always an attempt at comic relief. This time the powers that be have asked me to provide that relief due to my personality and speaking ability. The only problem is, I have no idea what to do. It can really be anything, as long as its appropriate. The only idea that I've come up with today is maybe some sort of cooking show about deep frying a turkey, and the safety related issues, but constantly cutting to video's of me cooking as a demonstration. I don't know what I'd do in those cut-aways but I'm sure that I could come up with something.

Anybody got any bright ideas? I'll have anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes, depending on how much "safety" [censored] I can throw in there to make it relevant.

-Jihad

Boris · #2 09-13-2006, 01:00 PM

whatever you do you should wear a sport jacket with tie and shorts.

Jihad · #3 09-13-2006, 01:09 PM

[ QUOTE ]
whatever you do you should wear a sport jacket with tie and shorts.

[/ QUOTE ]lol, yeah, flight suit uniform stuff....no dressing up...

danzasmack · #4 09-13-2006, 01:15 PM

a humurous safe sex bit sounds funny

xx44 · #5 09-13-2006, 01:19 PM

Try cooking and distributing the "most fattening" sandwich, Im sure you can have fun with that.

MDoranD · #6 09-13-2006, 02:10 PM

How about a long discussion exploring common safety issues occuring in/around Home Depot.

DrewDevil · #7 09-13-2006, 02:16 PM

"Little Known Safety Risks In The Navy"

Act out ridiculous injuries that could conceivably happen doing the most mundane tasks, like:

-- getting a new medal pinned on and it punctures an artery

-- swabbing the deck and somehow suffocating on the mop

-- filling out paperwork, falling asleep and braining yourself against the desk

etc.

RiverFenix · #8 09-13-2006, 02:22 PM

Give a few examples of other funny things people have done so we can gauge what is appropriate.

I like DrewDevils ideas.

Jihad · #9 09-13-2006, 03:08 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Give a few examples of other funny things people have done so we can gauge what is appropriate.

I like DrewDevils ideas.

[/ QUOTE ]ummm, kinda hard to remember right now cause nothing is really that funny. i'm trying to be unique and its hard, cause a million people have done this before me. lots of safe sex and dui briefs turn funny using goofy pics.

NT! · #10 09-13-2006, 03:13 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Since every one of these things is so boring, there's always an attempt at comic relief. This time the powers that be have asked me to provide that relief due to my personality and speaking ability. The only problem is, I have no idea what to do.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL MILITARY INTELAMENTS

I think this clearly calls for some sort of hilarious Top Gun references, maybe you singing "Take My Breath Away" to someone dressed up like Ice Man. Don't ask, don't tell!

NT