Unsettling Limericks

[Parnick]

I don't know how funny these are, but I certainly find them unsettling. I mostly write these in the subway on the way to work. Feel free to add your own.

He works at the club where she dances
She succumbed to his drunken advances
But all it was worth
Was a premature birth
And a growth, which the head surgeon lances

The first gun he bought for protection
And soon had amassed a collection
But with a bottle of white
And a dog in his sights
He made no move to hide his erection

Jonathan Still’s wife was nervous
Unsure what she’d done to deserve this
But she covered the bruise
With a quick touch of rouge
And made it in time for the service

Patrick Bateman
Her skin was pale and unmarred
And I smiled as I gave her my card
A quick surge of power
As I clean up the shower
You could say that I love them too hard

Diane a good kitchen did keep
And my passion towards her was deep
But I grew to despise
Her unsatisfied eyes
And relieved her of them in her sleep

[Niwa]

I thought all of them were great!

[neuroman]

haha. You should start carving these into the back of subway seats with a knife!

[Parnick]

Another

The house insurance he desired
But when finally he set the fire
From the house did arise
The most pitiful cries
As his son trapped inside it expired

[The_Bankroll]

there once was a man named dave
who kept a dead whore in a cave
she only had one tit
and she smelled like [censored]
but think of the money he saved

[Kaeser]

There was a young lass who was cheerful
but of giving head she was fearful
when the moment drew near
she drew back in fear
and boy did she get an ear-full!