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03-31-2007, 07:46 PM
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the BLOG of former Senator Bill FRIST
Retirment Blog of Former Senata Bill Frist
since i hear you's talking so much about me in deez poker forums, i dought you might liek to hear my journal writings: Saturday, March 31, 2007. The bran is working. I took poop this morning, and it felt nice! It smell like black person, or what i imagine dey smell like (full disclosure: i never met black person). Right after that my slave, or maid (whateva!), is making me breakfast, when i decided to go out for breakfist 'stead. So just for laffs, i threw the food in her face and told Conchita she smelled like my poop. Hah!! I think i might get her de-ported one of these days. Later at Denny's I is trying to think of ways that we could maybe put some more laws together. Seem crazy to me that the other people dere could order whatever they wanted off the menu. Wouldn't it be easier for everyone if we just have one ding dat day make you order? I mean why give dem da choice, when day might order something gay like poached egg, or grapefruit juice? (hahah...FRUIT!!) Plus, i don't need to waste time going through all the options on menu. Damn dats tiring! Short stack of flapjacks all my tummy wants. Ya know what else i hate about dis country? too many gull-dang restaurauraunts!!! Why can't day just have one, gov'nment aproved, that everyone go to? Haf deez Chinese places just funnelin money to Al-Qaeda anyways. God i hate dem!! Why not just have bunch of Cracker Barrels, all serving good ole american apple pie? Drivving home, i hopped on da tol-way, and realized something amazing: not only could we's be collecting money at these toe-booths, we could also be keeping an itiner'ry for everyone's travels! Wouldn't it be heckuva lot easier if they had files on where we've been and where we is going? Then say my wife needs to find me, or the hospital needs awesome surgeon and want me back, they just call da toll people, and boom, there be me! Plus we could keep better track of where everyone at. So say i thinks my neighbor Cletus is going to some adult book store or something i find out for sure! Oh i would really stick it to him next time at sunday services! Maybe even have us swipe our governmant aye-dee when we get on? Then uncle sam can keep his eyes open too. (and no, you ignant people is not going to tell me dem ID's are bad ideal!) If i could figure how dis magic GPS work, i might go agree to put chip in card too. (any you's know if GPS made by GyPsieS or not?) Well i is nearly home when i had nother great idea: why not stop off at my frend Derrick's place? He dis amazing guy i met at da gym da other day. We just hang out like regular ole guys, and have great time. Whether it giving each other massages (boy his hands git 'round!), or just watching a good old fashioned talkie (not for youngsters eyes!) on the screen and polishin our rods together. We make a game of it sometime...i swear I is fastest! So i stopped at D-Rock's and he gave me baloni about being behind on my frendship dues. I gave him the usual hundrid dollas doh and we got right down to bidness. He was a real snoot later when he booted me out, saying he had 'nother freind scheduled for three 'clock! Oh well. We snuggled anyway for few minute. (note: i saw a real queerie walking towards his place as i was leaving!! i'm gonna give D-Man some real [censored] for dat next time i see him. hah! what a fruitcake) I got home later and my wife was cooking. I asked where Tostito or whatever her name was and she said she quit. Figure! Typical brazilian work ethik. My daddy told me never to trust dem, and i is starting to beleive him! Now i know why he got so mad at da doctor who told him once some mexi lady had his baby! like that eva gonna happen! (daddy also told me there no mexi's in my family, so i's write book bout it: http://www.amazon.com/Good-People-Beget-...477275-0848626) Wow, i is tired now. write more next week. yo comrade, Fristy 
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