Tell OOT a random story

[Jon1000]

I like hearing random stories a lot, probably even more so than watching bad movies.

My friend Ralph is catching a flight out of DC and makes a few brownies for the plane ride b/c he's a pothead. Once at the airport, he sits down at the bar to drink some lunch, eat a brownie, and wait for his flight. A cute girl in uniform plops down a seat down from him and orders a drink so he turns around and starts to chat her up.

Immediately, they hit it off and she is giggling and throwing him some winks. It turns out she is fresh back from Iraq and going home for the first time in a while and is really excited to see her brothers. cute. The brownie and whiskey hit Ralph and he is a little high. Mid conversation she asks him to try his brownies, reaches over, grabs one, and starts munching away. Lo and behold, idiot Ralph freaks out. He panics and lets her eat the whole thing before mumbling something about a flight and fleeing the bar.

[edfurlong]

I rented heat at blockbuster tonight, the guy at the counter spent about five minutes talking about deniro and pacino and some dude that directed westerns or some such thing. It was pretty awesome.

[garcia1000]

This weekend I went hiking. It was indeed a pleasant diversion from the mundanities of the working life from which we are all alienated. My friends Miguel and Gennaro met me in Central near the ferry terminal. Our hiking expedition took place in Cheung Chau, an outlying island far from the city center. We set off at the crack of dawn and arrived at Cheung Chau ferry pier in the early morning.

As the sky was unusually clear and sunny, Miguel suggested we go and visit Tofu Marsh (Tofu is bean curd, although in this case it refers to the sweet dessert made of smooth slices of tofu in sweet syrup). It seemed to be a pretty good idea; although we had been hiking several times, we had never really explored the island. Tofu Marsh is famous to hikers for its variegated vegetation, which Gennaro, a herbalist, would find interesting.

We took an hour or so hiking - almost walking - on a wide dirt path that was heavily trafficked by residents, casual holidayers, and such riff-raff as you would expect on an idle Sunday. Then we came to the small, inconspicuous sign pointing in the direction of Tofu Marsh, and so we split off the main trail. The vegetation rapidly became denser as we made our way further, and the path became narrower.

After half an hour, the path ended. Evidently Tofu Marsh was not a popular destination for casual hikers. Gennaro was a bit worried, but Miguel brushed off any concerns. "We are almost there, it is less than a hundred metres away according to my map!" I was ambivalent, although possessed of a small flame of curiousity regarding Tofu Marsh. We decided to press on and if we didn't find anything in fifteen minutes, we would turn back.

It proved to be an unnecessary precaution though, as scarcely minutes after pressing onwards, the full glory of Tofu Marsh was revealed to us! It certainly lived up to its name. A flat, circular plain, probably a hundred metres wide, and the soil was yellow-white. A waterfall carrying thick brown water could be espied on the far side of this creation of nature. No vegetation grew on the white soil, although it looked quite viscous. The air smelled faintly sweet with a hint of ginger.

"How interesting," Gennaro said as he examined the soil. "It almost looks and smells like real tofu!" He knelt down to retrieve a sample of the strange white soil, but at that moment his footing slipped and he tumbled down into the marsh! What a clumsy guy! We clambered down to help him out, but the tofu turned out to be like quicksand.

Soon we realised the gravity of our situation. All three of us were trapped in the white tofu. And it turned out that the brown waterfall was not carrying water at all. On the contrary, the syrupy substance was sweet ginger syrup, which made it all the more difficult for us to move! We were slowly sinking into this substance, which we only now realised was real tofu. The whole plain was a trap - like a huge bowl of tofu, trapping unwary creatures in its slippery embrace! Now it dawned on us why were did not see any vegetation or animal life in this deathtrap.

The more we struggled, the deeper we sank into the tofu. Tragically, we all suffocated and drowned, our dying screams heard by no-one. The tofu tasted great though.

[skunkworks]

garcia1000, next time just post a link

[garcia1000]

[ QUOTE ]
garcia1000, next time just post a link

[/ QUOTE ]

But it's more convenient for the reader if I put the story here, instead of needing to click on a link!

[RiverFenix]

10 minutes ago in my backyard, a thin girl named Princess was walking along, minding her own business. Princess looked and dressed like Elvis Presley. Suddenly, she saw Bevis, who was mean and looked a little like Adolf Hitler. Bevis proceeded to spit on a well-dressed boy's pencil. The boy's name was Jackson.

"Stop, you slime ball!" Princess yelled out. But Bevis started to run away.

Princess chased Bevis for miles. Bevis could run fast and seemed to be getting away. But then in a final great effort, Princess told Bevis to slow down and surprisingly caught the scoundrel!

Jackson was so happy, that he offered to buy Princess a banjo.

Thus ends a good story.

[VarlosZ]

I went to a wedding last Saturday. I only knew a few people who would be there, and even those were only passing acquaintances. So my friend the groom, being apparently a ninja seating arrangement genius, puts me next to a gorgeous, poker playing, card-counting blackjack player (and computer programmer). So when I tell her things like I don't have a proper job and just play poker for money, and I recently got back from the WSOP, and I sometimes go to illegal poker dens . . . she actually thought that was neat, not sketchy. I mean, she asked me if used PokerTracker, by name, without any prompting by me. [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img][img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img][img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

Even my complete lack of game couldn't screw this one up. Hopefully she won't blow me off when I call her in a day or two.

(Ok, more of a brag post than a story, but it's what came to mind.)

[BillNye]

I heard a rumor from my dad that his brothers sons best friends cousin who is AJ Hawk, and he said that the otherday they hit up McDonalds (Hawk, Favre, and Driver). Well, Favre had to take a piss, and same w/ Driver so they both were peeing in the bathroom, and my dads brothers sons best friends cousin (Hawk) is like "wtf this is taking forever" So he walks in and is like "wtf our McFlurries are mel..." and supposely Favre was sneaking a peek at Drivers dick. Well at first my dads brothers sons best friends cousin (Hawk) is like, WTF MAN!?! And Favre is like what?!?! and than Driver is like "hey" and then Hawk is like, dude you were checkin him out! And Favre is like, wtf thats what the showers are for, duh.. but he didnt say that, instead he said, no I wasnt!!!!111!! and than Driver was like "GROSS DONT LOOK AT ME THERE" and than Favre is like, srsly guys, I wasnt, I promise on my records for consecutive games! and Drivers like, "ok he definately wasnt looking if he promised on his records" and than Hawk is like "ya maybe, but than he goes into this wierd CSI thing and recalls the whole scenario in slow-mo and thinks "wtf were u 2 peeing next to each other, there are open pisser holders (he didnt know the word). And Favre looks down in shock at the evidence, and slowly glares at Hawk and says...dont tell the wife...

I don't know if I should believe my dad or not.

[VarlosZ]

http://www.deadspin.com/sports/nfl/a...job-142854.php

[garcia1000]