Paragon casino trip report. LC poker, but women, food and 86'ed!

[zuluking]

Being a not-at-all powerful and barely influential member of the media, I got invited to the 4th annual La Cuisine de la Louisiane at Paragon Casino in Marksville. Its a fundraiser for various charities where about 30 local resturants/chefs cook and for $35 bucks its an all you can eat affair. The casino was nice enough to comp me a room and my admission, as long as I said nice things about them later on my barely listened to radio show.

I arrived, checked in, tossed my bag onto the bed and headed straight for the poker room. It was only 1:30 and the event wasn't until 5. Kelly is still in charge of the poker room, and in my opinion, he's the best kept secret as far as Louisiana poker room managers go. They only had 4-8 limit, so I bought in for $200 and proceed to donk it off in about 2 hours. I re-bought for another $200, but somehow only managed to lose $100 of that when it was time to go to the big foodfest.

One hand of note, so typical of south Louisiana players: I get 2 2 on the button and limp along with 7 others. Flop comes 2 [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] 5 [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] Q [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] Someone bets, everyone calls, I raise, they all call. Turn is 7 [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] Checked to me of course, "Check to the raiser!", I bet, they all fold except for MP who calls. River comes 4 [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] ugh. MP bets, I cry and call, and he turns over A [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 3 [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] nh sir.

I ate way more food than I should have, which was fine because I was now sick of limit poker for the night and I was ready to become the all-time blackjack and booze drinking champion, and I needed all that food for alcohol absorption.

I pick out a nice $10 minimum double deck game, and I get to touch my cards which is important cause then I can really feel like I'm gambling. Why people play 'shoe' blackack is beyond me. I've got a goot buzz going, so counting is out, but I'll just stick to basic strat.

Some local girl with really big big boobs is next to me, and we're chit chatting about this and that, and in my drunken state I actually believe I'm getting somewhere when she drops the, "blah...blah...and my bf...blah...blah.", line. Soon, some really smelly, obviously high and drunk idiot clown sits between us. This guy really really REALLY reeks of having not bathed in forever. And I move to the next table over.

After a few minutes, the smelly guy is getting louder and louder. He makes not one but two spills in 10 minutes, and my dealer says that he's been gambling non-stop for 2 1/2 days. Ah! So THAT'S what its like to be high on speed? Suddenly, the big boobed girls yells out, "Don't f-ng touch me again!" Smelly says, "Ssssorrry.", and immediately touches her. Floor is there and asks smelly to leave. Smelly says FU, and then I noticed that 4 roid-infested security guards are directly behind Smelly.

Smelly is about 5' 10" and weighs all of 135 pounds. He never stood a chance. I hadn't seen someone 86'ed in quite awhile, but they had him out of his seat and out the door in seconds. Alot of the players, myself included, applauded.

I hammer back more drinks, tipping alot cause I am Lord God King of all things Blackjack and I'm up about $180, when I notice a freaking thing of female perfection. Her name is Thelma and she's a 10 on ANYONES scale. From the Phillipines, she's about 5' 3", a perfect face (unusual for Phillipine women) and the body of a porn star. Thelma just came on to work the floor in the blackjack pit.

I find myself staring at her, and she notices, and comes over to make nice chit chat. Holy cow! She's talking the ME! I stutter, blither on like an idiot, the whole time staring at her perfection. I've got no game, I'm hammered, tired, and she's fresh and perfect. I make a mental note of no ring on the finger and promise myself I'll go back soon and SOBER to talk with her again.

Somehow, playing drunken basic strat, I eeek out another $50 or so, so I got some of my poker monies back on the bj tables. I hit the pillow around 1am, snore still 9, check out and drive home. Paragon is in the midst of building one killer hotel, and can't wait to see it completed. Service was top notch as usual. For an out-of-the-way casino, they are 1st class all the way.

Thanks for listening.