Looking For a NVG Mentor

[Justin_Bobby]

I'm looking to improve my postings here and am looking for a mentor. Thanks.


-Justin Bobby

[a nonymous]

News, Views, or Gossip?

[wattascoop]

This may be the best level I've read on this site.

[Joseph Hewes]

Nice name JB.

[RiversAreBad]

Just make fun of other posts and you'll get far.

[0524432]

[ QUOTE ]
Just make fun of other posts and you'll get far.

[/ QUOTE ]

Metallica - Sad But True

[budblown]

OP go back to watching the hills

[pernicus53]

Suggesting another poster commit suicide is good.
Also, say things like "obv" "qft" and "lol @"

[The B]

[ QUOTE ]

Also, say things like "obv" "qft" and "lol @" and BAN and DIAGF and grim the Grimstarr and make me a Mod and p5's4L

[/ QUOTE ]

[GeniusToad]

i won't offer to mentor you because, frankly, that seems a little gay to me. i will, however, offer several quick and easy steps to help you get started in NVG!

1) make lots of, "<insert high stakes online player's name> BUSTOOO?!!?!!11@!!" threads for starters.

2) finish all posts with either "imo", "obv", or "ldo" (this method is not NVG exclusive)

3) give lots of advice, opinions, and general comments on subjects you have no actual knowledge about.

4) become proficient in both mspaint and/or photoshop (more useful in BBV but can come in handy here as well) - achieve this alone and enjoy instant and long-lasting adulation.

5) pretty much any topic is acceptable for starting a thread because technically anything can be a "view". (see any sklansky threads for clarification)

6) keep in mind that all live professionals suck and post in threads about them accordingly.

7) keep in mind that none of the top twenty poker players in the world are online players so online players and live players pretty much suck.

8) if you start a thread and then think of something you forgot to mention in said thread, begin a new tangential thread as opposed to posting your thoughts in your initial thread. failing to do so will simply cause confusion because NVG'ers are thalidamide-retarded. (again, see sklansky threads for clarification)

9) GOSSIP, GOSSIP, GOSSIP!

10) everything Nick Rainey says is correct.

11) use the word "literally" incorrectly as much as possible.

12) keep the "coked out clonie" pic on your desktop where it's easily accessible. you will use it.

13) Johnny Hughes is a god among men. treat his posts as gospel.

14) don't post in strategy forums. this will only distract you and may even cause you to abandon NVG and that's not an option.

15) never post any relevant news. ever. only gossip and views. and please don't ask why news is in the title of the forum because the answer is too complex for your feeble NVG mind to grasp.

simply follow these simple guidelines simplistically and your NVG seedling will bloom in no time! literally!