Re: 99.99890581% chance that cheaters were operating on Absolute?
(1) I suppose that's possible, but it seems like a stretch to assume someone went through the trouble of cheating, but didn't bother to learn much poker; even to the point of having an odds calculator running. I don't say it's unlikely, it's just that it's not my first assumption of how people cheat.
(2) I don't say you should play Q2 against AA, just that most of the hands you shouldn't play Q2 against aren't top pairs.
(3) It's true you'll have trouble getting a top pair to fold on a Q95 board, but you'll have even more trouble getting Q with a higher kicker to fold. At least playing against JJ+, you have a chance of getting a good hand and getting called. But the main point is the same as (2); you don't want to play top pairs, but you also don't want to play the much more numerous hands that share cards with you and are stronger.
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