Re: Moral question?
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My father left when I was three, I met him a couple of times when I was about 20, after each time he made no effort at contact.
He died this year, and I have little doubt that a visit from me in the hospital to tell him I thought he was a great dad would heve decreased his distress at dying. I chose not to make that trip.
Was my decision immoral?
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I don't think it is quite the same thing. My interpretation of the OP was that the person being apologized to was there already and nothing else was required accept to make the accept/reject decision. Your situation is different and more complicated. I don't know where the line is for how much effort is required to give comfort to someone who has done you harm.
The OP also didn't mention what was being apologized for, which would make the story better but probably doesn't change things too much. I'm not sure why you would be in a situation to reject the apology for someone doing something really outrageous.
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