Re: Hows my Application Essay pt2
Two things.
What is the essay question/topic? We cannot evaluate how well or creatively you answered the question or how well you stayed on topic without it.
In my opinion, your essay is decently written. I only read it once, but I do not think there are any serious grammatical mistakes. However, you do not really conclude anything.
I see that you are trying to show how not playing basketball allowed you to explore yourself and find other things that you enjoy doing. But your essay does not drive home that point. There are only a few sentences briefly outlining what you did in addition to basketball.
|