Re: Pregnant GF
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No it's not. As I noted, some parents are a misery on their children. As a kid who was raised in a family that took in counless foster kids over the years, and as a stepkid myself, I've got tons of real life experience in seeing exactly that.
There's all the difference in the world between being a parent and being a good parent. And it matters enormously.
You can certainly be an unloving, resentful, unkind, even scary parent. Even if you live in the same house. They happen all the time. Really they do.
An option that might be just as good would be to support the kid but split the vicinity. At any rate, certainly none of us knows how things would turn out, so it isn't correct to presume we do.
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Because the OP is annoyed with his gf that she has "changed her mind" he will be resentful, unloving, etc to his child? I don't know about this tbh, but even if so I think adoption >>>running.
There are plenty of potential good parents out there who will be able to do a better job than OP's gf can on her own (based on what I've read in this thread) and offer the kid a better environment, opportunities, etc.
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I'm not so much saying one thing is better than another than insisting that there is more than one option and that just because one option strikes someone as an obvious favorite, there might be a lot more to it than meets the eye. Most of all, it seems this issue should be really thought about rather than reacted to reflexively, and a solution shouldn't be proposed just because it fits easy, comfortable notions. The stakes are much too high to parrot back notions we simply like the sound of and apply to every situation without a lick of what is really honest thought or remorse.
As to your not knowing if a father who doesn't want a child can be a poor child, well, this is both completely obvious on its face and, in my extremely extensive experience growing up in a house full of these kids and seeing the results, something real and not open to speculation. It's quite possible to be one miserable SOB of a father if you're not ready for it.
And again, as to adoption, you are quite wrong. There are far more babies needing adoptive parents than there are adoptive parents to take them. What children are adoptable tend to be the ones freshly popped out. By far the most popular are the blondes with blue eyes. Every month older the child gets, his chances drop; the difference in adoptability between a one and two year old is great, and between one of those and a brand new baby is greater still. Adopting across races can be done, but on the one hand isn't terrifically popular compared to adoption within a race and in some places is restricted. There are actually "helpful" people out there going around trying to preserve their race, whatever that means, by making sure some kids cannot be adopted because they have had the bad luck to bump into potentially loving parents who are the "wrong" race.
It is not easy to get adopted. And there are people out there actively trying to make it harder while pretending they really give a damn about the kids.
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