[lwrunner103]

My background is I just graduated HS, still live with my mom and stepdad, hardly see my dad because I don't want to go to his house that has no computer/ anything to do there. I can tell how bad this hurts him because of the way he acts around me. I never had a job because I feel that $7/hour is waste of life, I was a serious athlete (wrestling and running)in HS and therefore have never drank or smoked anything not once. I have NEVER asked a girl out which is probably because I get extremely nervous/uncomfortable whenever I talk to a random cute girl. I hardly have any friends, even in HS I would go to the gym and run/cut weight during lunch and never had a social group to be around. Had a bad poker night in January where I lost ~12k. I was stunned and it started a downward spiral of depression/ loss chasing that is still going on now. At that time I was an absolute mess mentallyand my Mom made me see two psychiatrists who forced me to take Zoloft which I quit a month ago because I hate trying to hide my problems by a quick fix/ fake answer. Since December I'm down ~20k. I got that money through a couple MTT scores/ SNG grinding / cash grinding randomly. I had ~15k online and 10k in savings paid for insurance months in advance. Bought family awesome birthday/christmas gifts. Since than I have lost almost everything, except for 1k in my wallet which will be given to court tommorow when I will have to pay a fine for speeding 110>65. Lately I try building a BR feom SSNL and whenever I have 1 bad day I will go play High stakes HU and eventually bust trying to get back to even for the day. I am tired of having no money and scraping by. My goal from poker has always to been to get rich and quit. I assume I have a gambling problem. I assume I am depressed. The only one who would know is me..but I don't know. I don't know where I should go from here. I would honestly say I have an edge against most of the players I play against. Could I be lying to myself. I have no motivation to do anything like go run or register for college. My mom is really fed up with me for a number of reasons like quitting the pills, staying at the casino for 2 days straight, getting the ticket, not registering for college, taking money out of savings for poker which as of tonight is gone, etc.. What steps should I take to change my life?