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Old 11-15-2006, 02:16 AM
Ali shmali Ali shmali is offline
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: eating astroglide for breakfast!
Posts: 1,078
Default Re: dating girl w/ kid issues

Key word : 3 and a half.

Dude any single parent with a 3 year old kid and a job is going to have "bad parenting skills". I doubt the girlfriend wanted your first meeting with her kid to be spent putting him in time out while he throws a tantrum and kicks and screams. They aren't kidding when they say terrible 2's. Super Nanny is great but that stuff is not always practical in real situations. Especially with a toddler.

Don't approach her with parenting advice yet. That would be very insensitive. Ask her questions about her kid. Ask her about parenting. Be empathetic. Be sympathetic. Make sure you know what her approach is when you are not around. If you are going to continue dating her seriously understand you are making a commitment to her AND her child. pick up some parenting books, watch some of the parenting shows on T.V. Talk to her about what you are learning. If you feel you are naturally good with kids it you might find all that stuff interesting even if you aren't dating her.

One thing is certain. Don't jump straight into authority figure with her kid. Even if she does give you the ok. That's a transition that should take a while. More so for her 3 year old then for the 2 of you. Just make sure she has your support when the 3 of you are out together. Again dealing with a willful 3 year old that is acting up is not easy or fun.

If it turns out she is just a careless parent then you should talk to her about it. Standards for people that deal with kids and for those that don't deal with kids are going to be very different. And quite frankly the ones that don't deal with kids are going to have standards that are unrealistic. So keep that in mind when evaluating if she really is a "careless" parent.
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