[Evan]

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More importantly, once he does get laid, he will stop. We had one of these a couple of years ago. It didn't take very long before he just went away.

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Won't that just make more woodpeckers?

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Who will grow up to bother other people, if they aren't eaten by badgers first.

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So what you're saying is that Matt should get a badger? Where's he supposed to find time to hunt down a badger?