well we just got done at the Price is Right, and I've pretty much forgotten about the slowroll (the models diverted my attention ). But now I'm hungry. So we head down to the Bally's basement mall and eat at some deli. Keep in mind we're still not really talking, so the long walk is kinda weird. Oh well I don't really care (we're in VEGAS!) and we finally get there. I don't remember the name of it, and I wish I did (so that I could tell you never to go there). My philly cheesesteak sandwich was small and had little flavour. My g/f's turkey sandwich was dry and had NO flavour. Each sandwich was about 10 bucks (most expensive I'd seen yet), but a bottle of dasani water was FOUR BUCKS?!?!? It was of the 1 litre variety, but 4 bucks? I was absolutely floored (once again, not because of the actual money, but FOUR BUCKS!!!!). This diet cream soda that we got (which was absolutely delicious) was less than 2. What a joke dasani is. 3/10
Walking through the mall, my g/f gets asked if she wants a free sample. (please don't take it please don't take it please don't take it). "Sure". [censored]. So they pull her into the store of course and give her the standard spiel trying to selling her this stuff. They are extremely aggressive, and I feel uncomfortable just standing there. It wasn't a very good experience, but I can't say it wasn't expected. We finally leave, and I make a comment about how it's going to be like this everywhere they give out free samples. She seems receptive so that's good.
25 steps later someone with 2 forms asks us if we want to help preview a new hollywood tv series. My g/f is like "wow it'd be SO interesting to see a show and be the reason that it's actually on tv". I agree in my head (hey it WOULD be cool!), but tell her that I don't want to spend 2 hours watching tv in vegas (unless it's that impersonator of course). I also see that the 2 "mainstream" shows that they claim have been done like this before, Will and Grace and Caroline in the City, are terrible. We move on.
Since I didn't get to do any gamb0000ling yesterday (well just a little), I want to start this day off well. Off to the sportsbook baby! I am interested in one game really - the Calgary/Anaheim game 7 NHL game. I go in expecting to toss down like 20 bucks on Calgary, and cheer the hell out of them.
But then I remember 2 years ago when they went all the way to the Cup finals. This team was my life until I was 18 - then I lost interest in the NHL (like 95% of people). Then the Flames get on fire and everyone starts jumping on the bandwagon. I get pissed off, and cheer against them in the finals (although
www.flamesgirls.com [NSFW] was a very, very nice outcome of this huge run). So I say "[censored] THEM I'M BETTING ON THE DUCKS!" Toss down a 50 for them to win straight up. 125 for 50 would be nice. Well one game isn't fun - how about the over/under? It's 5 - over please. WTF ONLY ONE GAME I'M NO GAMB00000LER WHO ARE THE JAYS PLAYING? Boston eh? 50 more on Halladay beating Beckett. O/U 9? Under please. Keep in mind I've never been to a sportsbook before, and have no clue what the hell I'm doing:
Me: Um, I want to bet some games
Sportsbook Lady: Ok
Me: Did you want to know which ones?
Lady: Ok
(thanks for being so helpful)
Me: Well (trying to look at the odds on the screen) - I'd like Calgary to beat Anaheim straight up, and take the over.
Lady: Is that hockey?
Me: Yes - 50 bucks on each
Lady: That's a lot of money (WTF). Do you know the odds on the game?
Me: Ummmmm not really
Lady: You want a parlay, right?
Me: No thank you - separate please
(lady rolls her eyes)
Lady: Well that's how you make your money
(what the hell first texas hold em bonus and now sportsbetting? I keep mental note of the number of times this statement or similar ones are spoken to me by some casino employee for the rest of the trip)
Me: Separate is good thanks
(Lady looks around a few minutes for a sheet of paper and enters something in computer - I realize I should have said something like +285 just to irritate her)
Lady: Anything else?
Me: Yeah - 50 on the Jays winning, and the under please
Lady: Is that baseball?
Me: Um yeah (I'm too intimidated to make a sarcastic comment about a parlay)
(lady takes another 3 minutes to get another sheet of paper, and grumbles to a worker beside her - presumably about me)
Lady: Here you go
Me: ...... (and leave)
Well we're done. I immediately regret the over pick in the hockey game, but what can you do? "I can't believe you're spending $50 a game on sports betting". "Gotta spend money to make money". I contemplate mentioning that my total amount of bets is higher than her vegas bankroll but I don't. I laugh to myself.
We go back to the Aladdin mall - I'm kinda tired, so I decide to get a drink from Fat Tuesdays. For those who don't know, Fat Tuesdays is this place which has a ton of mixed, fruity drinks already in slurpee-like machines, which you get in big novelty glasses. I like drinking! Wait a second YOU CAN GET EXTRA SHOTS FOR A BUCK?!? SIGN ME UP! So I get the biggest cup full of strawberry margarita, and 3 extra shots, for like 13 bucks. The g/f gets a smaller drink, with 2 shots extra. I talk her down to 1 extra. Save the fighting till later. First, rough sex.
Did I mention that I like drinking? Anyways this drink is easily over a litre - better mow it down! Wow this place has a TV SWEET! Wow the Jays/Sox game is on, and it's the only TV! There's no shopping happening while I sit on this stool SWEET!!!! I VEGAS! The g/f takes off shopping - this is the first time I've been alone (other than at separate tables in the poker room). Livin' large!
Hmmmmm 3-3 in the bottom of 3....this doesn't seem right. Then I notice that the field is in terrible shape, and that it's been raining on and off all day. Everyone's running all over the place. [censored]!! Bye-bye under. Oh well, at least it was my least paying ticket of the 4. This is going through my head when it's still 3-3 in the bottom of 3. Oh well drinky drinky drinky mmmmmmm. So I take down 2/3 of this drink before the g/f gets back.
Me: How'd the shopping go?
Her: Well, I just walked around the .... what the hell you're done that much already? (an astonished, not rude, tone)
Me: Um.... (I look at the ball game it's 1 out in the top of 4) .... yeah
Her: Well let's go shopping
Me: Alright....(thinking I totally got out of shopping for the day - pwned)
So the g/f's getting nice, partly due to the sweet, sweet taste of rum, and partly cause she's horny methinks. SCORE! Unfortunately we have shopping to do. So we go to a couple of shops (bebe, bebe sport, a couple other ones I don't remember) and don't really find anything. I watch my g/f change in one of the rooms while sitting outside. SCORE! I'm feeling pretty good right about now - I love drinking. Anyways, she ends up buying a shirt from bebe sport. Good work. So we go to the Aladdin sportsbook to see how the games are going.
The Jays are up 4-3 in the bottom of 7. This makes me happy! Anaheim/Calgary is 0-0 starting the second. Not so happy. Then the Bosox go double, grounder getting guy to third, popout. Well that's ok - 2 outs, a guy on third, and I have no clue who's up. Of course he hits this cheap-ass single and the guy scores.
I can still push this O/U bet it's still good it's still good. Bam double down the right field line and the fielder slip and slides all over the place. Score 5-4 boston. My g/f laughs when they score. This kinda pisses me off - "why are you laughing?". "You shouldn't bet money you're not expected to lose". WTF is that? It's 50 bucks but thanks Gamblers' Anonymous. I decide to let it go. "[censored] Jays why do they always have to choke get Tom Henke back what a joke". Anyways I notice that Anaheim is up 1-0 so that's good.
Then my g/f gets a 10 massage from the street masseurs/masseuses. No hot ones so I decide to go look around. I get some dried mango from this hawaiian shop. I have my paws on hawaiian punch but leave it at the front counter. They don't sell it at home anymore, but I remember how good it is! I notice 3 girls staring at me as I pass them on the way back - yep I've still got it! The g/f's done her massage so we go back to the room to get ready for supper.
So we get back to the room, I throw the g/f on the bed and we have rough sex. Yeah this is more like it. She's pretty good in bed, and yeah that's about all I'm going to say about it (ie. it was pretty quick). I needed this. 8.5/10. She gets ready for supper while I search the tv for the ball game.
WOOOOOO it's on! Jays are up 7-6 in the bottom of 9! The sex must have been really quick....oh Well my O/U bet is done but the Jays can still win! BJ Ryan is in! His teammates make errors and pass balls, but somehow he pulls it out in the end. Up a buck altogether! SWEET ASS SWEET! +$1! Let's check on hockey - wait a second the hockey game isn't on. Great. Oh well I'll watch sportscentre and get the score that way. WTF they don't show the NHL score for over 10 minutes at the bottom of the screen. There's only like 15 total baseball games and maybe 2 basketball - how come it's taking so long?!? Stupid ESPN. Anyways, finally I see it, and it says ANAHEIM 3 CALGARY 0! SHIP IT! Anaheim winning >> O/U. 2+2 wannabe up $26 bucks in his sportsbetting career. 1/2 of a bet in 4 games - that looks like 12.5 bets/100! Clearly sustainable.
So anyways, I'm plenty pleased about this victory, and the g/f gets out of the shower:
Me: The Flames lost - I'm up 26 bucks! (saying the guy tossing down 25/hand at bj)
Her: So that means you win 2 out of 4? That's only 50%.
Me: But I made money!
Her: Well that guy on that movie (Two for the Money) was right 80% of the time
Me: No one in the world is right 80% of the time
Her: I could be
Me: Ok - did you want me to cash these tickets now, to save time later?
Her: Do whatever you want (sounded pissed that I was gonna leave without her)
Me (thinking she's kinda mad): Well, I'll just take care of it later - is that alright?
Her: I told you to do whatever you want - going now makes much more sense doesn't it?
Me: Well yeah, that's why I brought....
Her: Stop being an idiot
Me: ...it up in the first place - I don't appreciate being called an idiot
Her: Then don't say stupid things
Me: ....
Me: I'm going
Not really a fight, but it gets me onto the casino floor by myself! Everything's coming up Milhouse! Off to some $25 blackjack. I tell myself that I have time for 2 shoes (double-deck) before I need to get back up to the room.
To my right is a 40 year old asian guy who has a strategy card and is looking at it the whole time. While I let the shoe play through, the dealer, a 40 year old caucasian man, bugs him every time he refers to the card. He's betting $15/hand. For some reason I find it absolutely hilarious to see an asian man not wanting to gamb0000l while the white guy wants him to open it up. Where's the paigow table when you need it?
I also notice that he's dealing the cards face-up. The [censored] impersonator TELLS ME that they deal single and double-deck BJ FACE DOWN! I was really looking forward to playing blackjack where he deals them face down (played it once in a Michigan casino on the Sault Ste. Marie border). It was kick-ass fun. Face-up is rigged, rigged for whitey. Damn whitey (fwiw I'm white). If I'm gonna drop cash money to your casino I want to TOUCH THE [censored] CARDS! I now plan to win.
Anyways, to the blackjack - I don't give them my rewards card again ([censored] this thing is annoying - why can't I just have a chip imbedded in my skin for them to scan?). Oh well more free stuff I don't like. I drop down 4 bills this time, and am playing a quarter a hand. First hand I get soft 19 vs dealer 6 - for those that remember, not doubling this down cost me 400 bucks in a BBV BJ tiltathon. So I ask mr. gamb0000l whether I can double this down (he had 12). "No double card say no", pointing emphatically to the card. The dealer clearly wants me to gamb000l (as do I) but I end up staying. 6-9-11 ([censored]) 17. Of course my double down would have won me double for the hand (next card out was a 9), AND the asian guy would've won. Where are the crazy gamb0000000ling asians that would GIVE me a quarter to double behind me, DROOLING about how much easy money they were about to make? Or the greeks! They double any ace against anything. I ask him if he likes money. He doesn't reply. WHERE ARE YOU MATTSUSPECT?!?!?
Anyways, 7 shoes later I'm up about 200 (a couple of blackjacks and playing the change for the dealer), get dealt the AJ against a 4, tell them I'm done, and tip him the 12.50. I notice the asian guy is up to 40 bucks a hand. GAMB0000000L! He gets blackjack when I'm leaving. Moral of story - asians never lose.
So I cash in my chips and my sportsbook tickets for a cool 300 dollar profit (or somewhere around there). I contemplate throwing a 50 on 1-12 at roulette. I don't. 33. I like money!
Now I head up to the room - I realize upon walking up that real time is probably 5 times longer than casino time. Since I figure I was down there for 15 minutes, it was almost certainly over an hour. I'm not looking forward to the talk we're gonna have. So I get into the room, and she's still in the washroom getting ready. Sweet. I ask her how much longer till she's done, she says she's almost done. Wow best night ever - free money, rough sex, and best of all, gumble 2 gumble is back on the air.
So we finally head out - we walk to the Mirage for the California Pizza Kitchen. Walking is for losers. Next time I come to Vegas I'm definitely getting a rental car. I'm losing way too much $$$$$ not playing blackjack by walking around everywhere.
Like I said before, I really like the ambience of the Mirage - the restaurant is pretty much on the edge of the casino floor, but you can still see people playing the slots. The only thing better than gamb00ling yourself is watching someone else do it! So we order some shrimp dumplings and the spinach and artichoke dip to start. The dumplings were great, but 6 for 8 bucks seems pretty steep. The dip is mediocre at best. We also ordered a jamaican jerk pizza, which had tons of chicken, scallions, and something else. It was awesome! Not eating the crusts = +EV. Total bill was about 30 bucks. Solid 8/10. By this time we're not fighting, and being quite amicable to each other. This is nice.
My g/f wants to play poker at one of the casinos on the back of our players cards. Hmmmm so we've got Paris, Bally's, Caesars, Harrah's, the Horseshoe, and Flamingo. Paris, Harrah's, and Bally's don't appeal to us, the Horseshoe is a million miles away, so it looks like the Flamingo. I'm not really happy about this (I want to play at the MGM or Wynn, both places which we thought didn't have 2/4 - of course the MGM does ), but don't really care either way.
I really don't want to play 2/4 with the g/f, so it looks like it's 1/2NL. 200 max - seems like a pretty good game! Here's the lineup:
seat 1: decent player from Ireland who's a good guy and we talk between/during hands
seat 2: me
seat 3: east indian girl (5/10), who bets when she has the nuts or near-nuts, calls otherwise (as per the irish guy telling me)
seat 4: tight/passive physically disabled white guy in scooter
seat 5: semi loose/aggressive young guy who doesn't play well - has about 600
seat 6: random loose/passive white guy
seat 7: seat 6's friend/clone
seat 8: super drunk LAG armenian guy who has at least 1000 in front of him
seat 9: some random guy
seat 10: LAG greek guy who has 800 in front of him
I buy in for 200 and hilarity ensues about an orbit in:
Armenian (to Greek): I'll bet you your whole stack that I've made more than you in blackjack today
Greek: ok
(the dealer stops dealing - everyone's like "how the hell are you going to prove this bet")
Armenian: 12,000 (pulls a number out of his ass)
Greek: 25,000 (LOL)
Armenian: YOU LIE! WHY YOU TELL ME LIE LIKE THAT!
Greek: no lie
Armenian: Ok heads up (I thought this existed only on the internet) for stack - I'll take your stack with 100
Greek: Why not all money?
Armenian: I only need 100 to take all your money
Greek: ok let's play
Armenian: on the floor, I have cards
(floor comes over)
Floor: sir, you can't play cards on the floor
Armenian: why not I have own cards
Floor: sir, the gaming commission won't allow that
Armenian: [censored] gaming commission
Floor: please don't swear in the poker room sir
(Armenian mumbles something in another language and they both sit back down)
The armenian raises to 90 blind in MP and noone plays (84 for me). Next hand the same thing - I see K9o and start drooling. Folded to me and I'm ready to push, but the girl to my left is ready to push in her 50 bucks. I'm not happy. I fold. She ends up doubling up with AK vs 94. She started with 40 bucks, went down to 25, and is now up to 100. Armenian guy doesn't miss a step - he raises again, this time to 55 blind (just picked up a bunch of chips and tossed them in). seat 5 calls. everyone else folds. Armenian raises to 150, guy calls.
Flop comes J73
check, check (seat 5 in position)
Turn comes 6
Seat 5 pushes all in for ~ 450 more into pot of 300, Armenian thinks and thinks and thinks....and finally calls. Seat 5 flips over JJ.
seat 5: YEAH HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT I'M GONNA TAKE ALL THAT MONEY
Armenian: [censored] I have no outs [censored] this (doesn't flip over his cards)
seat 5: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
River 5
Seat 5 gets his hands around the pot and starts taking it in.
Armenian: LOOK LOOK STRAIGHT I HAVE STRAIGHT [censored] YOU I TAKE ALL MONEY
He flips over 42o and rakes this 1200 pot with the rivered gutshot
Seat 5 (absolutely shocked): ......
Armenian: how you like that I have all your money
Seat 5 (sitting there with no money in front of him with his head down - hilarious!): .....
Armenian: HAHAHAHAHAHAH
Seat 5: you [censored] called 450 bucks with a gutshot??!?! A GUTSHOT! YOU [censored] DONKEY
(Armenian pushes down the stacks that he'd been working on building)
Armenian: all this money can't stack just falls down
(everyone at table laughs)
Seat 5: a [censored] gutshot
(the floor is standing there from all the commotion)
Floor (to Seat 5): please get up sir, this man wants your seat
Seat 5: [censored] gutshot you're terrible
So this guy gets up off the table but starts railbirding while a seemingly tight/passive asian guy takes his spot. He keeps on yelling at the Armenian guy, but he gets ignored. Maybe this no-limit is better than I thought!
So the table calms down for a little while. But the Armenian and Greek guy start jawing again after the Greek guy won a small pot. So the Armenian put 45 in blind to coerce the Greek to play against him. He folds. I find 99 and raise it to 120 (he won't call an all in, but will call pretty much anything else), planning to push the rest in (80) on any flop. The girl to my left gets mad and hesitates and then folds. Armenian calls.
Flop T92
He checks, I push, he thinks and folds
Girl gets pissed off and says she folds TT. Tough luck.
Anyways play keeps on going - an hour later this girl has over 500 in front of her by massively sucking out and getting paid off. Armenian still has over 1300 in front of him. Another table breaks up and a new guy (friends with seat 1) with 900 comes and sits in the newly open seat 6. After an orbit this hand happens:
Armenian posts 100 blind UTG, folded to seat 6 (I had 93s) who raises to 300, Armenian calls.
Flop comes J72
check, seat 6 bets 200, Armenian calls
Turn 9
check, check
River Q
Armenian bets 150, seat 6 minraises to 300, Armenian calls
seat 6 flips over AA
Armenian mucks
Absolutely terrible play and seat 6 drags a 1600 pot. I'm jealous. Armenian says "nice hand".
Armenian proceeds to donk away the rest of his money in the next 5 hands, and is now BUSTO. I'm mad cause I'm even and everyone else has his money. After he busts the game pretty much breaks up, and I decide to quit up 2 dollars. The floor gets it when he cashes in my money.
Looking at my g/f - she's up about 40 bucks. I tell her that I'm done, and I wait for her to finish her orbit. I realize now how she makes her money. She's selectively friendly to nice people and bitchy to people the rest of the table hate, and they pretty much give her free money. Example:
The turn comes 8796r and she raises someone's bet. Some other guy coldcalls her raise, saying "I know you've got the straight but I want to see it". First guy folds. River blanks off, she bets he calls and she shows her obvious 10 high straight. Guy flips over ace-high and tells her "I knew you had it". Wow I wish I was a girl. Some other guy proceeds to tip her a buck after the hand. She takes it. I don't know how I feel about it.
Anyways she gets up (up 60 bucks) and we leave - she gets ANOTHER tip when she gets up from a different guy, and she takes that as well. WTF. Talk about free money. I wonder what she would do if I took "tips" from other female players. I hate double-standards.
So we walk back to the hotel and I'm starving. We can't find somewhere to eat, so we decide on room service. The prices are cheap for room service and I don't really care. So we decide on a bbq burger with avocado on it with onion rings and chicken salad criossant. Solid eats but not stellar. Onion rings sucked. The burger was shockingly good. 7.5/10.
We turn on some channel and watch the news for 1/2 hour. Do they even report news here? What a joke - the whole program was about feel-good stories and random BS from around the world. Just like "Bart's People". I wonder if this is how American local news is. I hope not.
So we go to bed (in the same bed) and are both in pretty good moods. If I'm lucky I can pull off morning sex. I can only hope. FWIW, this is my least favourite day so far - not enough real gambling. I'll make up for it tomorrow.