[katyseagull]

[ QUOTE ]
By what right do you deny her pleasure, physical or emotional, if it really does you no harm? The harm is in your perception of what that event meant. You've used fidelity as an arbitrary measure of her "love" for you.

Would you deny her a massage? That's a physical pleasure.

Would you deny her a hug from a male friend?

Would you deny her a cup of her favorite coffee from a male friend?

Where do you draw this arbitrary line about what pleasures she can have and why do you draw it where you have?

We all have some limit, some arbitrary restraints on our partners capacity to give of themselves to another, that we use as a measure of their love and committment to us. Or as a measure of our ownership over them, which is made obvious in societies where the women must serve and be demur to their husbands.



[/ QUOTE ]


All the above scenarios you mention would drive me nuts if I knew my boyfriend was doing them,

Massages - Are you crazy?

Hugs - No. He would like them big boobies pressing against his chest. I say he should keep 3' of air between him and another girl.

Coffee - well, ok if he absolutely has to. As long as he wasn't making a habit of it.

rolling around on a bed - this is just unacceptable.


I wouldn't do any of these things with a guy friend either. For two reasons - I'm kind of uptight and it would make my boyfriend very unhappy. The only thing I would allow myself to do is have conversations. Funny conversations, cozy conversations, academic conversations. I like it when I find someone I have a special connection with. I think there's a lot of potential in friendship. But I'm certainly not into the physical flirting games. Those embarrass me.