[FGators]

cross post from SSNL

I just want to say about this issue regarding me that it's embarassing and completely inappropriate. I have lost it on numerous occasions lately because of all this losing and it's caused me to do things out of character (seriously) and despicable.

Basically on Monday night a friend of mine (a few at first) were drinking. I started playing one table of $2/4 on Stars just relaxing and watching the Colts-Jaguars game. I drank more and more and then started playing multiple tables throughout the night. My friend who was there, and is a drunken lunatic, was watching and started coercing me to say things to this guy in the chat box that would not leave me alone and has been stalking me for a few days now.

He was bashing me, telling me I suck, throwing every shot at me. I started freaking out after a few suckouts and my friend started feeding me things to say. I am horrible with insults (I rarely push things to a bad level) and due to the alcohol (which isn't an excuse) and my friend talking into my ear (I really have a problem with letting people get to me/influence me---I have a saying no problem) I started freaking out on this guy in the chat box.

I made inappropriate comments that, like I said, are out of character.

You can believe me or not, I really don't care. I just felt like getting it off my chest.

I lost my chat for a month, but will likely ask them to remove it forever for these actions. I really should learn to think for myself for once and not to use alcohol as an excuse. This is the second time in the last few weeks that alcohol has caused me to snap like this and I need to stop with these denigrating comments.

I'm not a racist, I have friends of all races, I just need to stop having people feed me things when I'm drunk (same deal a week or so ago with this friend around).

I have a lot of flaws right now because poker has really affected my life in a horrible horrible way. It's caused me to get angry at the slightest things, become very snappy, more violent, and also very depressed.

In fact even though I've made money from my initial $20 transfer I don't think poker has done one good thing for my life. It's led to the aforementioned problems I just named, removed me from being more social, and led me to these awful actions.

This is the honest truth here, believe it or not. It didn't pop into my head to call the guy in the chat those names, but coercion should not be an excuse so I'm taking full responsibility for it.