[Autocratic]

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How bad is the word "retarded" when used in real life and not on a message board? Does anyone use this word in their daily vocabulary?

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Depends on the company. Perfectly fine in some places, but worse than Hitler in others. Most bothersome thing about using it is that you never know when someone has that problem in their family themselves. This is why I don't like rape jokes much and try to be really careful about making them. I can't get behind "feeling" the retard one nearly so much, though, and I've known plenty(used to be a teacher's aide for a class full, etc.) It just seems to be constructed very, very differently. But lots of people don't care about fine points, and others prize political correctness quite a bit, sometimes very aggressively so.

So, since you never know who you're with, while I don't think using this word is bad, it's probably wiser just to find some other way to say something along the same line. Although, of course, calling someone an idiot is probably offensive to idiots or people who have idiots in their families, or are married to one, etc. *sigh*

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So much to respond to.
I have a retarded sister. I pretty much just ignore people who use the term. I write them off as ignorant, thoughtless and rude, probably just a few I. Q. points above retarded.
I have a close acquaintance who was raped. I find the use of the word to describe winning at a poker table unsettling. It is a harsh and violent word. Someone once argued that saying "killing the table" was violent too. Some how that is not as offensive to me. I wonder if "killing the table" at a card game in a war zone where your buddy was killed would be deemed offensive?
And to political correctness. I think it is actually a call to speak accurately and in a civilized manner. It seems those who don't like PC language are usually upset that they can't express their bias's, prejudices and phobias in the crude manner they are used to. It is easier to make a point using using emotionally charged words than words that are accurate and civilized.
It is a long road. But when was the last time you heard the word niggger?

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I'm a little confused. You consider people who use the word retarded in certain contexts ignorant, same with people who use rape. You know someone who is mentally retarded and someone who has been raped. And you wonder why the term "killing" the table doesn't bother you? Seriously?

Honestly, the term "killing" is so commonly used outside of the realm of killing that it loses a lot of power. The thing is, the same goes for the word retarded.