[RunDownHouse]

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he learns that he's not supposed to do that. But now he sees his younger sister do the same thing. Can you really blame him if he smacks her?

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I get what you're saying, and maybe I am wrong. LIke I said, I don't have kids - that I know of! - and I really think this is one of those things where your mindset can change drastically once your situation changes.

That being said, I think kids are smart enough to know right from wrong- that value set may have to be instilled, but once it is, they can make judgments based upon it - and they can eventually learn who the arbiters of justice are. When you're 5, your parents are judge, jury, and executioner. Your example of a brother hitting his sister isn't really applicable because normal people know they aren't in charge of discipline, their parents are.

I guess I should just say that I don't think your example of "kid makes mistake, parent disciplines, sister makes some mistake, kid punishes" is in the least accurate. You ask, "Can you blame him," and my answer is, "Yes, [censored], he's not an idiot, he's not a dog, and should recognize the various reasons that discipline is not his to administer and judgment not his to render."

When you say, "In my opinion, it is very difficult to use corporal punishment to deter kids from misbehaving without giving them the idea that it's okay to hit others who make them upset," are you saying this from the standpoint of a parent? Obviously it's anecdotal, but just as obviously there are tons of kids who both got spanked as discipline and turned out fine.