*Zero WSOP content.
You may remember me from such trip reports as
Christmas in Vegas,
The Second Donkening, and
Commerce Baby!
If you've read any of my other trip reports, you know I love Vegas a lot. I have dreams of slinging chips, drinking booze, and stumbling about the strip with bottles of ice-cold beer in each hand. So when my friend calls me out of the blue last week on Monday, I'm deliriously elated and have my bags packed in 5 minutes. Five hours later I'm sitting at the bar in Primm Valley Casino (Buffalo Bill area). The parking lot was pizza-oven hot and it was 3AM in the f**king morning! But like any other casino it's uncomfortably cold inside. The place is also empty. The bartender decides to be awesome and gives us free drinks. I toss him a fiver while I take my first sip of Red-Bull & Vodka: my favorite get-drunk-quick drink. My three friends order Midori Sours (pussies!) We're having a blast losing cash at video poker until 40-something degen sits next to us and starts spewing out nonsense. He says he owns a hotel (sure Bob), knows how to beat video poker (whatever), and points out which seats are hot. He gets close to my friend's ear and whispers "That seat that woman is sitting in. That's the one you want to play. If only that b**ch wasn't sitting there." And it's time to leave. My friends call it a night and I make my way to Primm's crummy-ass poker room.
2-6 Spread limit was the only table that was running. I buy $200 worth of blues from a very bored floorman and take a seat to the left of the most degen looking of the group... might as well sit in a random seat. Table is composed of the usual: two old-timers, 3 middle-aged, 2 young-uns, and a skinny Asian kid (Toss). They also look tired as hell. In my last two Vegas trips I lost a ton in poker; partly due to running bad and partly due to drunken monkey tilt. So to avoid repeating my past mistakes, I play a tight-solid game. 76s? I don't need play this early position. ATo? might as well fold since all the pots are 5-way+. I'm playing tight-solid poker -- hell I'll fold all night if I have to. Don't need to do anything stupid. What's this? I straddled UTG? When did I do that? Might as well 3-bet blind. 5 to the flop and a lot of chips in the middle. Board comes AJ6r. I look at my cards to find A7o. I value bet every street and immediately flip over my cards. One of the old-timers show A5o and shakes his head while saying "Can't believe you played that hand." Hah! I drag a huge pot and toss a handful of chips at the dealer. The dealer asks, "For me?" I say, "For putting the ace out there."
The rest of the session goes uneventfully. I leave the table up $60, 2 Red-Bull and Vodkas, 4 Newcastles, an OJ, and a water. I get into bed and close my eyes.
Five minutes later I'm sitting at the Blackjack table flat-betting the $3 minimum. How can I sleep in Vegas? It's hard to have a good Blackjack story betting mere dollars at 5AM in the morning with some old fart so I'll skip to the strip. I snooze very lightly for 15 minutes in the car and wake up to see Chipotle -- home of the gut-busting burrito. I'm still feeling it from last night so I order a meatless salad. My friends all get burritos and they all somehow manage to finish it. We speculate on whether it's possible to finish two and I try to start bets; alas, no bets are made since none of my friends are degenerate as I am.
The Imperial Palace, what can I say. It's on the strip, it's cheap, and the shower has good pressure. Excellent choice for the balla on a budget. My only complaint is the distance from the parking lot to the casino floor; unjustifiably long. Maybe that's why it's getting torn down soon. As we walk through the casino floor we come across the "Dealertainers" they're oh-so-famous for.
Geebus it's like a car accident on the freeway. We walk, we slow-down, and we gawk at the ridiculous get-up they're in. If I ever had this for I living, I would probably set myself on fire then jump on a bridge. Anyway, nothing happens until night.
The cabbie was a thirty-something Indian guy originally from LA. He regrets moving here. "It's a great city to visit, but a horrible to place to live." Can this statement be any truer? I ask him what he thinks the standard tip should be. "Anything is fine. I don't care if it's only 20 cents. I know some cab drivers get angry at less than $3, but a tip is a tip." As he talks he uses the standard Indian hand gestures and contorted facial expressions. I ask him about what it's like to be a cabbie. "Very stressful job. You have people throwing up in your car, you have other drivers flipping you off, you got the company taking all your money. It's a very hard job to do. Some months you get very little tips and some months you get a lot. That's why I think so many cab drivers are so mad all the time." Just like poker player amirite? I pay $15 for a $10 ride and we head upstairs to the Ghost Bar.
Part 2 (Ghostbar and craps) to follow tomorrow.