Re: Almost in a bar fight and called a Racist!
Possibly. As I read the story though she was very patient with the man. She put up with his abusive behavior for quite some time, then repeatedly gave him the option to leave before she called the police. Could she have silently allowed him to carry on like a jerk? Well, it sounds like she did for some time. However, no bartender is obligated to allow a customer to be insulting to him/her or the other customers. The fact that this guy's relatives think he was totally in the wrong is quite telling. Even the customer, when he finally came to his senses, seems to understand that he was in the wrong.
Whenever there is conflict, there's always the possibility that the party in the "right" could have done more to avoid the conflict. That doesn't make them in the wrong, though if/when the conflict takes place. They clearly weren't egging him on, which is what your post would seem to imply. They just got tired of taking his crap and decided not to anymore.
Given that you feel it could have been handled better, how would you have responded differently? Keep in mind, you've been the only person waiting on an entire bar, you're tired, your feet hurt, and a drunk guy who has been insulting you repeatedly asks you to get him a napkin when he has some right in front of him.
It's possible that by sitting down with him and asking what's bothering him she might have disarmed the situation. I think that would be asking a lot of her given the circumstances.
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That still doesn't change their roll in escalating this. Sorry, but this all could've been handled better.
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