[BarryLyndon]

It sounds like you have serious problems that you need to sort out with close relations with your family and close friends. You may want to seek out counseling.

One thing you shouldn't do is play a lot of poker right now. Playing poker while depressed: 1. does nothing for your BR; 2. serves to inflame emotional wounds.

You have good perspective to stop playing. Also, there is nothing wrong with having a few drinks and relaxing, but try to keep it to weekends and try to get out of the house when you are doing so.

You're life will not improve because you play poker. Most poker players who are good are miserable because they don't have enough to party like a rockstar until they learn how to crush games, and that takes a tremendous amount of discipline and talent. Maybe you get there, maybe you don't, but you really want to have your life in order while doing it. Healthy life (poker) is your equation. Not Poker (wtf am I doing with my life).

You should get AIM going with a few other poker players to keep you company while you play. That's always helpful. or just play with friends. Have a support system. Having a support system in poker is so important.

I would say that poker is the mainstay of my intellectual thought these days, I love it so [censored] much. But, let me tell you this - over the past four weeks since I got my MTT game together a little better, I now advance with an average stack or close to the FT bubble / FT in a good chunk of tournaments, I have not won a big cash in about a month, I'm on a slight downswing. I also know when to take a day off and when not to because I try to mix my life up with other things. Poker has a nice file cabinet in my brain, a big [censored] cabinet, but I try to keep it in one "room," so to speak. And I try to let it lead to other positive thoughts in my life - improved decisionmaking, confidence, eloquence, etc.

Also, you want to eat healthy and work out. let me tell you - you could be chunky, fit, whatever, if you aren't eating right and working out, girls don't respond. Really, girls are just another form of animal, like a guy is. They want to make sexy time, and they respond to well maintained, natural bodies. They can basically smell it if you are keeping in shape and keeping well groomed.

As far as 6 girls / 20 y/o, well, that's [censored] depressing. If you think about it that way, whatever. Look - I go to local bars every so often where 40 year olds who probably crush that number are sitting around depressed and loud as all [censored]. I mean, how many douche bags out there [censored] and are miserable/unintelligent/totally unfullfilled. You think it's not painful for everyone to sit around 10 hours a day spewing out the same mundane thoughts/ideas/phrases, waiting to fullfill an otherwise boring day with a x% chance of getting ass at night. Get real.

Anyone can get laid, all you have to do is get the word out and something will happen. But, if you are the relationship type, well, that's a whole other problem. you should be happy that you are a relationship type, but you need to suffer for it more. Sorry - that's how it is.

Barry