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COTTON: It's time for the championship match, folks, and we've seen it all here, folks. It's all come down to this, a Cinderella story. Average Joe's gymnasium hopes to drive their vorpal blade, snickersnack, deep into the heart of the jabberwock that is the Globo Gym Purple Cobras, and walk away with $50,000 in stone cold cash.
PEPPER: It's all on the table now, Cotton.
COTTON: The two teams come here today, dressed as one, but underneath they are as different as apples and nuclear bombs.
PEPPER: You can't hug your children with nuclear bombs, Cotton.
COTTON: Right you are, Pep. And THERE'S THE WHISTLE!
THE TWO TEAMS MAY NOW POST! One player will be eliminated today. Will it be an Average Joe? A Purple Cobra? Stay tuned to ESPN 8, the Ocho!
THE FIRST PERIOD WILL LAST 25 MINUTES!
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