[Blarg]

I don't mind a girlfriend/wife having great friends of the opposite sex, as long as she keeps it in check. Lunch every day with a guy sounds a bit much, but if every other possibility, every day, really sucked, I dunno. I suppose I wouldn't care if she did that with a ladyfriend, so it would be on the lame side not to trust her to be an adult just because she has a friend who is a guy. That wouldn't really be trusting her as an adult at all. And if I don't feel like I can trust someone, I don't like to prolong the relationship anyway and should be looking for a way to get out, not keep the unhappiness going.

Frankly, I suspect there's something a little wrong with a person who can't relate to or befriend anyone of the opposite sex outside family and GF/BF or hubby/wifey type things, and there's something a little wrong about feeling like you have to check up on them about it. If you do, there's something else deeper going wrong with the relationship that has nothing to do with the friend, and you should probably address that first.

Now if she were taking time away from me to do it, or doing it after work, I'd feel bad or suspicious and neglected. That's one of the things that makes me uncomfortable about the internet affair possibility. It's one thing if you have a lot of internet "friends," but your real life comes first, and zeroing in on one person on the net, especially when you have one with you right there at home, seems to me unbalanced. Amusements are fine, but if you "need" to talk to someone and gain emotional sustenance from them, you should work on your primary relationship(s), not try to have your cake(your big fat cake of disappointment, that is!) and eat it too. Or you should decide it's past working on, break up, and move on with your life. Maybe even ask yourself what's wrong with you and work on that.

Sharing emotional stuff on the net is pretty easy, and a great way to iron out your feelings and express yourself, and explore how you think, on a lot of things. But it's a pretty miserable substitute for a real relationship, no matter how fantastic the people you "meet" on the net. It needs to be kept in perspective. If you're going to have a double life, it should at least be two real ones. Or, said another way, since I'm enjoying thinking up really dopey metaphors, some other guy on the internet can be your footstool, but you should be sitting on your husband. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]