[TobyG]

[ QUOTE ]
So, my question is, do any of you have any witty retorts to the fish trying to tell me how to play? I asked a fish last night about his chapter in his book that states you should play junk to the river every hand. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]
Don't bother with witty retorts. Straddle a couple times early if everyone else is doing it. Order an adult beverage of your preference and nurse it. Tell a bad beat story. You'd be surprised how few will notice your play after that point. If someone does, shrug and mumble about being card dead. Straddle at the next opportunity or toss the dealer a $1 to "change your luck". Witty retorts make you memorable. You want to blend in (or appear to rather) as much as possible.