[NT!]

loud right under my apartment at 4 AM ?

(cliffs notes NT is drunk and he hates this fat little chud who lives underneath him and is going to [censored] his ass and make him humble like they do in the old country)

so i got home from the bar and my girlfriend is awake and looking kinda cranky, apparently some dude who lives below us has been playing his music really loud all night. this is not unusual for him but tonight it is really loud. we can hear not just bass lines but words and [censored]. he listens to crappy 90's white people music like bad offspring (not that there is good offspring, but there is bad and only kinda bad), other allegedly punk bands often featured in video games, etc.

so i have never met this guy before tonight. i start by going down and ringing the bell. obviously i am pretty drunk but whatever, the [censored] is really loud. so i progress from ringing to knocking, from knocking to pounding, and from pounding to kicking the [censored] out of his door as hard as i can. finally the music turns off so i am like, good, [censored] and i go back upstairs.

then like three minutes later it comes back on just as loud as before, maybe he just turned it off to rub one out or something who knows. so i go back downstairs and proceed directly to the pounding-the-ever-loving-[censored] out of his door and he finally comes to the door, the little [censored] coward.

i'm like, dude i am not trying to be a dick about this but your music is really pretty loud, i was knocking on your door for a long time.

he's like, o sorry didn't hear you.

i'm like, yeah, like i said i am not trying to be a hardass but my girlfriend can't fall asleep, i can hear your [censored] really loud, like sometimes i turn on my tv and i can still hear the lyrics on your stereo over the simpsons and [censored]. and your stereo is like right under our bedroom.

he's like, well i can hear it whenever you guys walk around, or your cats start running around or something, so it's not exactly quiet for me either, and i never complain.

and i'm like, dude, we can't exactly control the building noise, i mean we try not to be loud but if the floors creak what can we do? it's a little different.

and he just gives me this blank [censored] stare. he looks like brandt but fatter and shorter and more miserable, he is wearing boxer shorts and a white t-shirt and glasses, obviously i interrupted his pwning of noobs in IRC or something, maybe his internet girlfriend was about to IM him some pictures of her exposed navel with bbg sauce in it who the [censored] knows. all i know is i want to strangle this little [censored] right where he stands like a dumb [censored] online MORP addict statue rooted to his floor. i am sure he is sitting in his apartment right now fantasizing about rolling a couple of twelve sided dice and killing me with his hit point multipliers or some ridiculous gay [censored] involving elves and wizards and orcs and all kinds of cockjousting fat lonely [censored] [censored].

and i repeat to him, dude anyway if you could just turn it down a little i would appreciate it ok?

and he's like, 'ok THANKS' and i turn around and walk away before the urge strangle him with his own entrails overcomes me.

on monday i am going down to my landlord and telling him in no uncertain terms that the guy was playing nazi battle hymns and looking at kiddie porn