Re: Emotional Affairs
I don't understand the whole emotional affair thing. It seems like an office politic thing to me. It complicates work, complicates relationships, and makes entering a relationship far more daunting.
Katy, I sort of remember a thread about this earlier, and I think it was yours. Do these problems inhibit your own relationship or desire to find a boyfriend?
I have known some girls who I wouldn't want to have sex with. I know one right now who would be ranked a "9," but I would not want to enter any kind of relationship with her. It is not because I value our friendship, but because she has many unattractive qualities that I don't want around me 24/7.
Theoretically, there should be a one and only, and that ought to be your center of happiness. I would think that losing that person would be ample reason to behave. If you are really worried about who your life partners friends are, then there are some problems in your own relationship, but I guess those insecurities come with it.
I had a conversation with one of my exes about this. We both agreed that different people are going to have different relationships to each other. I can joke and have fun with certain people, and other's I cannot joke in these ways, but they are my friends. In my g.f., I see several qualities that I love and adore, but perhaps with her, there are things that I cannot say. Although I can reasonably expect her to have "all of me," I realistically cannot. Humans need to have various outlets. I could joke with one girl I know about being a [censored], but the other one would be deeply offended.
Each one knows the sensitive/ dirty half exists, but I don't think they want to witness both sides constantly. I know that who ever I choose to date is because she shows me the face I want to see the most. I can't see why her talking to other guys should offend me, because I know that there are things that she wants to see, but not from me. While hearing a guy talk immature and dirty may be funny to one girl, hearing it from her perfect mate isn't so appealing.
btw, I am single and never entered a serious relationship, perhaps my opinions would change at that point.
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