[neuroman]

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If you truly liked her old man I would consider making one trip out to see him to pay your respects before he is too ill. This really only applies though if he liked you too.
It just sounds to me like you are getting ready to devote tons of time to this because you want her back and all the while she will get a free ride.....tons of support from someone she knows and trusts but can discard when she's done with the 'well I never said we were getting back together' excuse.

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You really nailed it here. OP, don't go out of your way for her--this is not a way to get back together. But if you had a relationship with her dad then treat him like you would any other friend or acquaintance who got cancer.