[depguy]

Hello again everybody,

First I want once more to thank you all for your ideas, support and kind suggestions. It has been a real help to read them and compare points of views from different persons.

After my last update, I took a plane and went visiting some friends abroad. I just left a note at home explaining that I was very stressed and needed some time on my own. It was very relaxing to be away and see some old friends. I could talk to them about all this and take a break from poker.
To summarize, my friends told me the same as most of you did, that I have to think about myself and if I feel that my GF is an obstacle to that, I have to consider splitting.
They also said that maybe it was not her fault, but just the fact that I felt it was indicated that the relation was in trouble. I agree with that because I had reached the point where every little thing she did was irritating me and perhaps It was unfair to say that she was the direct cause of my bad poker results. But she was a catalisator because I started to feel exploited and she wouldn't take my gamming seriously though we both lived from it.

After a week I came back home and everything was as usual. I played again for the first time in 2 weeks and even if I am now playing at limits I would have consider a joke earlier, I took it seriously and was able to win.
The playing conditions had however not changed, she would still interrupt me every 5 minutes, and showed no intention of doing otherwise.

So we had a talk and once again I tried to explain how serious our situation had becomed, how I felt and that I was hoping that she would help by finding a job for herself; not that much because of the money she could earn, but because it would kept her busy and give me a chance to rebuild a decent bankroll.

Next day she went out for a few hours and came back around lunch time announcing that she was hungry and asking me what I had prepared for lunch.
That did it for me. I told her that we were broke, that the only thing we had to eat was the few groceries we had at home and that when they were gone, we had no money to buy anything else. Things are not that bad yet, but she doesn't know it and she probably thought I was joking and didn't pay attention to me, but 2 days later (today) she begun getting worried as no money was to be found at home and she was unable to go shopping.

She spent most of the evening in front of the computer looking for jobs and finally decided for some waitress job downtown. She says she will call them tomorrow and even if it is part-time it would be great for both of us.

I am of course glad if she keeps her prommiss but it feels somehow wrong that she only reacts when she believes that we're at the end of the road. My feelings for her have changed a lot in 2 weeks and I also believe that she is preparing herself to leave me. The job is probably not so much to help us but to help her move out.

So I don't know if this is good or bad but at least I will have some hours of peace at home and will be able to play some poker. Time will show how the realtion goes.

To those asking how I could be broke in a few months of running bad, I can only repeat what an other poster wrote; when your BR is not that big, you are used to spending a lot and are running bad for 3/4 months in a row, the snowball rolls very fast.

A lesson for me to learn of course and motivation to be more carefull in the future.

One more time, thank you for reading.