[mosdef]

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It seems that in the latter case, transacting with them IS your preference. So you still can't transact without satisfying your own preference.

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Right - I guess I am saying that when your choice to participate in the transaction is based on your preference to see their preferences met, then that's what people probably mean by "helping" someone.

When your choice to transact with someone is based on meeting some other preference of yours, the fact that it also meets someone elses preference is incidental and isn't typically what someone would call "helping" someone.

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And I don't see what this has to do with anything.

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Not a lot, except that there is a certain "saintliness" that is associated with helping people. I don't know if everyone who can find somebody to take the opposite side of a transaction should granted the connotative saintiness associated with saying that they are out there "helping" people.