[Superfluous Man]

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leo i like ur answer but the intent behind my question was more in regards to what majes a better mtt player; obsession to the point of manic depression or aparhy to the point of not being motivated enough. Motivation is obv key with success but when i see people like myself i wonder if my attitude sets my ROI back

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And I'm saying neither option is really good. Both will burn out/become losers/fail for different reasons and probably in different ways, too. You seem to imply it yourself.

If I had to pick one, I guess I'd go with apathy, because it's a softer, less mentally jarring slope to the bottom. The apathetic player won't jump off a bridge after he bubbles a big donkament, or takes a shot that goes badly. Apathy, to a certain extent, is probably helpful. Psyduck mentioned MrSmokey1, who always seems apathetic and calm, even after becoming the youngest bracelet winner ever. And maybe he doesn't give a [censored]. But he certainly gave enough of a [censored] to improve his game, to get to the point where he is at. I mean, unless he was somehow born an amazing poker player. I doubt it.

Like I said, I used to be more apathetic, but now I'm not and I hate it. I live and die with every buyin I make in cash, every tournament I go deep in, every good or bad play I make. I don't even know what happened to make it this way, I used to be much more calm. "Naturally stoned" as Adanthar once put it. So, yeah, as someone who's slowly becoming the model for the overly driven, bipolar, punish-myself-for-playing-bad-ever type, I'm able to look back very fondly on my days of relative apathy. But that doesn't mean apathy is so god damn great. Too much apathy and you cease improving while everyone else flies by you. You allow yourself to sink in a sink-or-swim situation, all the while not caring that you're drowning.

To sum it up: Apathy is good, it prevents you from going crazy. Too much is not, it prevents you from improving. Being driven is good, it makes you take conscious steps towards improving your game. Being overly driven is not, it makes you a results-oriented little bitch, like me of late.

I haven't slept in a while, so this will all probably look stupid when I wake up. But I hope I clarified some things and didn't waste like 10 minutes on what honestly seemed like a drunken joke post on first read.