[youtalkfunny]

I hate when my son plays organized football. Every game includes taunting, threats, stomping, throwing things, yelling at the coach--and that's just the parents! The parents are complete retards. They completely lose their minds. I watch the games from the end zone, alone, because I can't stand to be near the other "adults".

Baseball is almost as bad. The kids don't get knocked down, so the parents don't completely lose it. But they still get WAY too emotional.

I hear that hockey is worst of all, but I have no first-hand knowledge of it. None of my kids have played basketball yet, so I'll abstain from that subject.

This year, for the first time, two of my kids are playing soccer. The experience is so radically different than the other sports, I was moved to type about it.

The parents are able to remain calm. Like baseball, nobody is getting knocked down, so they're nowhere near their emotional breaking point.

Unlike baseball, the parents aren't frantically shouting instructions to their kids, because the parents don't know anything about soccer! The parents just sit there, relaxed, and let the kids run around without parental interference.

My God, this is great! This is how youth sports SHOULD be! The kids are having fun, getting exercise, learning about teamwork, learning about winning and losing--and the parents aren't ruining everything!

I should note that I've only attended practices. I've yet to attend a game (I work weekends), so I don't know if that scene is any different. But I'm told that they don't keep score, which I imagine placates the emotions of the adults even more (the kids still know what the score is, though, and how many games they've won and lost).

I've always been as anti-soccer as any other red-blooded American, but after disastrous experiences with football, and unpleasant experiences with baseball, I was actually happy when the kids wanted to play soccer.

So far, so great.