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Oh, and obv none of the above quotes are from the bible.
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you are partially correct my son. please refer to ezekiel 25:17 in the good book
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Partially from the bible = not from the bible.
Thus:
For it shall be that the fondest desire of my heart shall be to be repeatedly cracked in the scrotum with a 5-iron wielded by the golf-ball testing machine Iron Byron, forsooth for eternity. Now thall shalt do unto others as thou wouldst have them do unto you.
And from the Illustrated Bible, Iron Byron itself (himself?)
