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Old 11-24-2007, 04:40 AM
that_pope that_pope is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Casino AZ
Posts: 458
Default How to tell girlfriend about amount of money spent playing poker

Hey guys, not a strategy question, but I got the PJ approval, and medium stakes is the preferred audience since 95% of us play live...

So I have been going out with her for almost 4 years now, and we are finally moving in together middle of December when she gets back from Argentina. She knows I play poker often (probably estimates it at about 60% of what I really do), but if she asks how I did, I always say something about losing $100 or $200 or winning $100 or $200.

She doesn't approve of 'gambling' and while she knows I am a winning player, doesn't like that it adds nothing to society. If I win for a given session, it cheapens her work for the day. I do have a full time job, so that definately lessens the amount of pain there, but it is still there. If I lose for a given session, it is obviously bad as well.

So things are probably going to get serious, and I imagine I will propose in the next 6 months to a year if living together goes well. But before I propose, and probably shortly after she starts living with me, I would like to come clean with how much I can win/lose in a given night. I have all my sessions tracked in Excel for the past 3 years, and have shown a profit every year. I do have some large losses of like $4000+ and wins of the same magnitude that might scare her.

So I know I need to be honest with her, because her finding out from one of my friends who know my activity would be 10x worse (would probably occur on a night of drinking, which would make the fight even worse).

So whats the best way to go about this. I don't want to do it until after xmas and us getting used to living together. But that means I will need to hide my money even better then I do now.

Is coming straight out and explaining it to her that it is a great outlet for my competitive nature, I enjoy it as a hobby, and I make a nice side income from it as well.

Buying her stuff with poker winnings wouldn't convince her of it, since she isn't the material/gold digging type.

So any advice/experiences would be welcomed while I prep myself for the 'talk'. Another wrinkle in it is that I hate working 9 to 5, and she loves her line of work, so I could see eventually me being a stay at home dad who plays poker 20-30 hours a week to make an income as well.

I don't know if it would be a deal breaker if she puts her foot down and says I can't play that much, but it just might be...I enjoy it that much.
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