[Blarg]

There is a way to do this, and it's exactly what you're saying. You just have to learn to have more fun with it. It's just flirting. Unfortunately, you need mature co-conspirators to flirt well, and our society has become too skittish and focused on the possible negative aspects of sexuality these days for many people to be able to just relax and enjoy the innocence of flirting. That combination of maturity and innocence is only possible when sexuality isn't viewed with trepidation. Holding your ground and not trying to be intrusive with your flirting lets it be inconsequential fun rather than threatening or fraught with meaning and possible negative tension. So you have to have a good read of the person you are flirting with, and be sure where you're at yourself, so you yourself can't confuse harmless fun with overstepping your bounds. If you overstep your bounds, you turn your co-conspirator into sexual prey. So, you can't lay the groundwork for innocent fun without being interested in that kind of fun.