[James.]

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if she gives you an ultimatum you have a decision to make. if she's someone you plan on making your wife, examine your priorities. if your own needs/wants are more important to your fulfillment than she is, then it eventually wasn't going to work anyway. plus, she might surprise you.

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It works both ways. If she gives pope an ultimatum then it shows that her petty prejudices are more important to her than he is, and it wasn't going to work anyway.

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i agree. however, i don't know her, but from what pope has stated he said that he didn't know how he would handle an ultimatum. after all, he is the one that has been deceitful. so i would think that's probably a bigger part of the equation than her prejudices on a particular subject. and just because someone is ignorant doesn't mean they are petty. they are just misinformed/uninformed. hopefully pope can speak with her in a diplomatic manner and help her see the light. if not, as you(and i) said it wasn't going to work very long anyway.

the key is: talk to her about it before you go any further in the relationship. if it doesn't work out, don't do it again in the future. learn from the mistake and grow as a person. that's all anyone can do or ask for in these types of unfortunate situations.

keep in mind, if this thing's going to work there's a decent chance she'll surprise you with understanding. if she doesn't understand/accept it then it's likely a matter of time anyway...